Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.
–The Dubliner Bar
Overheard by: Keekz
Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.
–JFK Taxi Stand
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.
–B Train
Overheard by: Emily
Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Serena
Archive for the ‘Fitness’ Category
Wednesday Hold-on-There's-Someone-on-the-Other-Liners
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
The Only Number You Care About Is Your Trust Fund
Guy #1, jogging: Come on, man. We've got to hurry. We only have three minutes.
Guy #2, taking his time: I have no reason to run, 4:20 is just a number to me.
–Columbia University
Or, Like, “I Can't Come to Work Because It's My Mom's Funeral”
Man: Ohmigod! I hate people that are like “I have boy issues because my dad molested me.”
Woman: Ohmigod, I know! It's like people who are like “I can't go to the gym because I have my period.”
–Downtown 1 Train
You Look Great! Have You Been Wednesday-One-Linering?
Old obese Italian guy sharing pizza and a pitcher of beer with old obese Italian friend: Yeah, so I walk 3-4 miles 5 times a week, and I eat a lot of salad.
–Carmine St.
Fat running lady to friend, watching middle school track team go by: Haha, look at dem running girls. I can run like that too!
–by the Hudson River
Morbidly obese woman walking track to group of friends: Look at all these people runnin da track all fast and shit. (panting) Look at dem with their skinny asses running past us like they're better and shit. Fagmuffins!
–Forest Park Track, Queens
Overheard by: D. Scibe
Girl on cell phone: I mean, usually in order to get a full workout it takes me like an hour to sweat. I never sweat, never. It's always so hard for me to get a workout. (pause) Yeah, seriously, I mean, I've gotta stretch first, work myself up, I mean… Really, it takes a long time til I feel like I've gotten a good workout usually. But this time it was just one… (pause) awesome, huge, unbelievable cock! (pause) Oh, shit, I forgot I'm in public!
–15th & 7th
Cop to guy in handcuffs: I swear to god I won't arrest you if you do 10 push-ups right now. Swear to god.
–28th & 2nd
Wednesday Isn't One-Liner. He Has a Girlfriend in Canada.
11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.
–High Line
Overheard by: Kirby
NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Just Visiting…
Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!
–PrideFest, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: proud dad
Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.
–Starbucks
Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so
Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!
–Central Park Sheep Meadow
Especially the Grass-Stained Knees
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
Keep Your Wednesday One-Liner in Your Pants, Dude
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Every Rocky Movie, in a Nutshell
Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Premed Students Can Be Scary
Girl #1: How's your diet going?
Girl #2: Really good. I've been working out like crazy and I haven't had any water like all day.
Girl #1: Good for you. Water's like soooooooooo heavy.
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: branbran