An activist interrupts a group of yuppie chicks having a discussion.
Activist: Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Chick #1: Sorry.
Activist: Have a good day.
He leaves them to their conversation.
Chick #1: Then he’s been getting after me about how I’m selfish, and about how selfish I am.
–Union Square
Archive for the ‘Flyer people’ Category
Actually, Mr. Dole, You Aren’t the President
A man hands a woman a brochure for erectile dysfunction. Man: I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. –MetroNorth Train Overheard by: Mark
Towelie: I Am So Wednesday One-Linered Right Now
Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?
–St Mark's & Ave A
Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!
–Delancey St
Professor: Take that Ritalin-Scotch-heroin cocktail… With a pop-tart!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Flyer guy: Anyone want to help support my drug habit?
–Times Square
Girl with group of friends: You can be a responsible drug addict… I had two jobs and went to college.
–Jane & 4th St
Overheard by: M Tod
Barnard girl: So my grandparents gave me one of those Visa gift card things for $50 for Valentine's Day… What the fuck am I going to spend $50 on, if it's not drugs?
–The Diana Center, Barnard College
Stephen Colbert, after flubbing a line during filming: I'm high. (audience laughs) Don't blog that!
–Colbert Report Studios, 54th St
Overheard by: Allison
James Earl Jones Takes Himself a Little Too Seriously
Comedy show peddler with very deep voice: Hey, do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Teenage girl, making fun of his voice: No!
Comedy show peddler: Why the hell not?!
Teenage girl: We hate comedy!
Comedy show peddler: Goddamnit, what the hell is wrong with you?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lauren
Doing This Job Is Enough to Make Anyone Hate Comedy.
Comedy girl: Hey! Do you like stand-up comedy?
20-something power-walking girl: I hate comedy.
Comedy guy: I love you!
–48th & 7th
I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.
Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!
–Broadway
Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.
–Broadway & Spring
20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.
–Q Train
Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!
–Neptune Ave
Overheard by: taylor
Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.
–Centre St
For Whom Nothing Is Funny Except Americans
Man handing out flyers: Hey, do you like comedy? Do you?
Passerby: No, thank you.
Man handing out flyers: So you're German?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chloe E.
10 Wednesdays I One-Liner About You
Extremely aggressive man, shouting and pointing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Refer to me as from fucking Baltimore! I fucking hate Baltimore!
–2nd Ave & 4th St
Female student, anxiously, to male friend: I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I don't like 'em!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: eternal student
Flyer guy: Would you like to see a comedy..? Oh, it's you again! Why do you hate me?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sara
Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free membership!
–Park Ave & 31st St
Little boy, pointing with disgust at picture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Washington? I hate him!
–Hot'n'Crusty, Upper West Side
…Sauteed with Salt and Butter.
Thin white guy, handing out show fliers: You like white people?
Huge black guy wearing leather jacket: Why, yes I do!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Hanna
Wednesday One-Liner Swap
Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!
–Broadway & 72nd
Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.
–12th St
(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much… I miss my wife…"
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!
–Small Coffee Shop, SoHo
Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!
–Union Square Subway
30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.
–Hell's Kitchen