Archive for the ‘Flyer people’ Category

PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.

–E train

Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.

–Small diner, Chinatown

Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Gigi

Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.

–Rue 57, 57th & 6th

Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!

–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?

Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

Don’t Bogart the Wednesday One-Liners!

Flyer guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here until five.

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Engi

Yuppie guy: Hey, you wanna buy a bong and get pierced?

–MacDougal & Bleecker

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Guy listening to iPod: Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed!

–183rd & Audubon Ave

Overheard by: BB

Black guy to another: All those niggas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each other!

–A train, Brooklyn

Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O-M-G, you’re high.’ And I usually am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she always knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to comment on it every single time? At the dorms, at parties, even at Target one time!’ Hahaha… But anyway, we might come Thursday. I’ll see if my funds are in order to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stunna shades.

–6 train

Guy outside MTV studios: Stay calm. Everything is going to be okay. There will be marijuana giveaways.

–1515 Broadway

Overheard by: Rebecca

Wednesday One-Liners Read Overheard in the Office

Conductor: Are you going to work? Are you going somewhere? Let us know by getting out of train doors.

–R train, Lexington Ave stop

Bartender swinging nipple tassels: Can you believe they wouldn’t let me do this at my old job?!

–Bar, Broadway, between 76th & 77th

Overheard by: Lezbotron

IT guy: I can break whatever I want, because I fix it!

–Office, 45th & 3rd

Overheard by: beans

I-banker to two others: He got the bonus for people that don’t get bonuses.

–Metro-North

Comedy club flyer guy: I hate my job, and it’s all your fault!

–Times Square

30-something hippie at show: 2008 is the year that I get a job.

–New Year’s Eve concert

Overheard by: Smash

Wednesday One-Liners Got Mad People Skills

Man selling newspapers: Get your newspapers here and I’ll buy you a drink! … Don’t listen to me — I’m here to sell you newspapers.

–32nd & 6th

CD hawker: You lookin’ for the bus to Mars? It comes in right over here! [Minutes later.] C’mon, white people! Spend money! Hey, white people! I’m black people!

–8th & Broadway

Flyer lady to line of people: You guys need to read this — it’s important. It’s about the waterboarding issue and the new attorney general. Please read these — all about the new attorney general. What’s his name? Makaskey? Or… Something… This is really important.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: jen

Pamphlet guy: Hey, man, you want to save the kids? No, you don’t. Just keep walking — who cares?

–Union Square

Hawker: I’ll trade anyone their Starbucks coffee for a Zipcar flyer!

–Spring St station

Overheard by: Lalaith

Flyer lady: Hey, girl — you betta stop. Buy a leather jacket! Make you look so sexy and hot. Make your man wanna hit that spot!

–Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: I don’t need a jacket for that, BiTCheSSSSS

Flyer girl: Take this flyer. Buy a sweater for your pretty wife — get hot sex tonight!

–34th St

You Look Like People Who Could Use Some Wednesday One-Liners

Paper guy: AM News! AM News! Low prices! Low-tech news!

–Greeley Square, 32nd St

Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon

Thug handing out flyers: You don’t have to take one, it’s okay, because at the end of the day I’ll still be crisp.

–Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: Alex Berkowitz

Umbrella vendor, after it starts raining: It’s not too late… Save her hairdo!

–W. 47th St. & Broadway

Overheard by: Maggie

Flyer guy: Oh, man, I can’t do this — this job ain’t for me. I can’t take all the rejection!

–Clinton & Delancey

Guy selling umbrellas: I believe in all of you! I have umbrellas for you!

–33rd & 7th

Overheard by: smoon