A Gentile Yuppie: I once dated a Rabbi’s daughter, in the Hamptons. I went to a family barbeque, and he asked me, ‘Do you want cheese on your hamburger?’ and I thought, ‘Ah–this is a moment of truth–one of those key moments in a relationship, where the family will judge me–what should I say?’ and I said, ‘Yes, I would’–and then the Rabbi responded, ‘Great! Then Cheese for Everybody!’” – Bar Tabac, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp. –Bubby’s, Hudson St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet. –Park Slope Overheard by: Anne C.
Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not! –BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th Overheard by: Jackie Lee
A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason. Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off! –14th St. & 1st Ave.
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant. Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan! –Astoria
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too. –Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street Overheard by: alice ayers
Guy: So…after she says that, I said, “Who would have ever thought to just cook lettuce?”
Girl: Woooooooooow. –Bedford Street off Bleecker
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch. –57th and Park Overheard by: Heather