Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel. –York & 70th
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry! –Opaline, Ave. A
Boy #1: Hey mom, is…is chicken meat?
Boy #2: No, dumbass, it’s a fruit.
Mother: Hush now! I don’t want to hear that language! –Central Park Overheard by: Blake Wyatt
Man: Do you think anyone will notice us coming into work together?
Woman: I don’t know, but I’m still going to get an apple.
Man: Yeah, I’m going to get my third cup of coffee. –42nd Street
Dad: So what did you learn in school today?
Son: Ummm…a tomato is a fruit.
Dad: What? A tomato is a fruit?
Son: Yeah, cause it has seeds.
Dad: You’re telling me a tomato is a fruit? Is a pumpkin a fruit?
Son: Yeah, they have seeds.
Dad: What about a cucumber, is that a fruit?
Dad: What about a squash? A zucchini? You know what I think? I think you’re the fruit!
Son: No, I don’t have seeds.
Dad: …I’m not going there. –Grand Central Overheard by: Rehey
Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think! –Popeye’s, 34th St.
An old lady is crossing the street with a small dachshund. As they approach Gray’s Papaya, the woman looks down and asks: Jimmy, did you say you wanted a hot dog? –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: Jonathan
Girl: Can I bring mac and cheese to the porn show or is that tacky?
Guy: It’s not tacky; it’s necessary. –Bed-Stuy
Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not? –McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place
Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up. –29th & Park