Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

Don’t Cry For Me, Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Hey, no crying on the train! No crying on the train!

–1 train

Man: I make people cry, and you tickle them.

–Wall St

Girl: You’re making me wanna shed mad tears!

–Lower East Side

Mom to young daughter: I think Daddy cries because he cares.

–JFK

Drunk guy: Jim? Jim! I don’t think we can be friends anymore… I cried after the Super Bowl.

–Waverly & Broadway

Woman on cell: I call her at work sometimes, and I’m like ‘Hi, Beth,’ but I can’t hear her because she’s sobbing.

–22nd & Park

Overheard by: Champ

Tween: I made a babysitter cry once. She was so immature.

–Brooklyn-bound R train

Cue Nostalgic Bouncing Montage

Middle-aged guy: So yeah, after I broke my ankle playing racquetball, I can’t really play basketball anymore.
Old guy: Well, can you still go hiking?
Middle-aged guy: Yeah, I guess so, since it’s not like, high impact.
Old guy: …What about trampolines?
Middle-aged guy: Naw, man. Those days are over. –A train Overheard by: Aryn M

Wednesday One-liners Love Their Sports

Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times. –Flatiron office Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game. –40th Street office Overheard by: Clay Caviness Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover. –Broadway & Prince Overheard by: Christopher Miner