Archive for the ‘Fordham’ Category

The Non-Standard Usage Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: There's a lot bruacracy in public social work…

–Eastern Parkway & New York Ave

Overheard by: jeff

Woman on phone: Her mother is a bird. Her whole family is a flock of birds. I cannot even say how ghetto she is. She said, "columinate." I said, what? You mean "a-coom-a-late?

–1 Train

Preppy on cell: What's your next class? Professional rioting?

–Fordham

Girl: This class is skewered. There are only three guys and like twenty girls. Damn!

–Brooklyn College

Overheard by: Phil

Guy to girl on train: She's just like "huh, brutha." It's like, embedded in them. They were breaded that way.

–7 Train

You Don't Really Know Someone 'til You Wednesday One-Liner With Them

Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.

–L Train

Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Sarah

Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Liz

Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?

–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square

Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.

–University Place & E 9th

Whereas We Just Saddle Up at Fetish Parties

Long Island guy: I'm from Merrick.
Brooklyn guy: Merrick? What's Merrick?
Long Island guy: It's a town on Long Island.
Brooklyn guy, laughing: A town!? They still have those? It seems so old fashioned! A town! Sounds like in the 1800s, when people would saddle up their wagons and go into town.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand

“Hi, My Name Is Wednesday, and I'm a One-Liner”

Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!

–Eldridge Street & Broome Street

Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …

–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th

Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!

–West Village

Overheard by: AsherO

Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: teagle

Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!

–Blockheads

Wednesday One-Liners 101

Psychology professor: So with the gustatory system the motor action is basically spit or swallow. That reminds me of… never mind.

–NYU

Professor: As rigid as it may sound, I would really prefer that you provide me with the literal translation of the Latin on all quizzes and exams, rather than rearranging the grammar to make it sound less awkward in English, so as to preserve the integrity of the Latin prose. Yeah, that's how I roll.

–Lincoln Center, Fordham University

Overheard by: Classics Student

Social psychology professor: The field of psychology doesn't run on… Dunkin'.

–New School University

English professor to class of freshwomen: When you get drunk, does your judgment suffer? (silent awkward pause) Well, you girls might be a little young for it, but I know my judgment suffers!

–Barnard College

Overheard by: High Aspirations

English professor: I know it sounds like an asshole thing to say, but that's what I'm here for guys. I'm here to be your asshole.

–English Seminar, Fordham

10 Wednesdays I One-Liner About You

Extremely aggressive man, shouting and pointing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Refer to me as from fucking Baltimore! I fucking hate Baltimore!

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Female student, anxiously, to male friend: I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I don't like 'em!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: eternal student

Flyer guy: Would you like to see a comedy..? Oh, it's you again! Why do you hate me?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sara

Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free membership!

–Park Ave & 31st St

Little boy, pointing with disgust at picture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Washington? I hate him!

–Hot'n'Crusty, Upper West Side