Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

One Nation, Under the Crown

Australian guy: Hey there, mate! I was just wondering if you were hiring staff.
Irish bar man: Yeah, we are, but you will have to speak with the boss. He is gonna be back in about 10 minutes. Do you have any experience?
Australian guy: Well, yeah, I’ve been doin’ this for about three years back home in Sydney.
Irish bar man: That’s great… Sure, I’ll put in a good word for you. I’m getting sick of all the foreigners that they keep hiring.


Headline by: Barry Negrin


Runners-Up:
· “52-Across: “Foreigners” Ans: N-O-N-W-H-I-T-E” – Eddie
· “Between the Long Islanders and the Brooklynites, this place is going to hell” – M.dubz
· “I only hear in black and white” – h
· “I’ll have a shot of contradiction with an irony backer” – LN
· “It’s getting so hard to find people who speak American.” – Noh
· “See? Even THEY Can’t Tell Their Accents Apart!” – Jatmos
· “Will the last American to leave NYC please remember to bring the flag?” – Beth
· “You should have seen this Injun that came in yesterday” – trainedmonkey




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

We Don’t Serve That Here, Redux

Customer: I would like a coffee, a white coffee.
Barista: Excuse me, sir? You’d like…white chocolate in your coffee? We don’t do that.
Customer: Mo, I mean…like a black coffee, but with milk…a white coffee?
Barista: Where are you from, sir?
Customer: Near London, in England.
Barista: That’s the fourth one today, you English are crazy! –Starbucks, Times Square Overheard by: Adrian

If It's a Pick-Up Artist, You're in Luck!

Tall guy in crowded silent elevator: Everyone going to the Robert Mann gallery? (after no response, to attractive woman next to him) So, where are you from?
Woman: Rwanda.
Man: Oh, I don't actually know anyone from Rwanda, but I've spoken to some people from there.
Woman, politely: Oh. Where are you from?
Man, ignoring question: So, do you have family back there?
Woman: No, they were all killed in the genocide.
Man: I'm terribly sorry about that. So, what have you come to see?

–Art Building, 11th Ave & 24th St

Overheard by: andrew a