Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep. –Elevator, 56th & 8th Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama! –Terminal 5 Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses? –Cafe Esperanto Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator! –TriBeCa Overheard by: lalala Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox. –51st & 3rd Overheard by: IG Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers. –4 Train Overheard by: BQM lady Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats! –Astor Place

If You Want a Taste Of the Rainbow, Go for It!

Teenage Spanish girls: Mister, mister! Where'd you get that belt?
Guy: (mumbles)
Girl #1: You know that's the gay belt, right? That belt is gay, yo.
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #2: Yeah, that's the gay belt. You better take that shit off! Are you gay?
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #1: Then take that shit off man! You can't have a gay belt. What store did you get it at? Didn't they tell you when you bought it? Mister, you better return that shit to the store!
Girl #3: Maybe he's bi. Hey mister, it's okay if you're bi. I mean, I like eating pussy. –Uptown N Train Overheard by: Jeff

No, Seriously– I’m Doing the Column Now.

Loud girl #1: So, are you going to tell Eric*?
Loud girl #2: It was a dance.
Loud girl #1: And a kiss.
Jamaican man, who has overheard: Oh. Oh, that’s cold. You ain’t gonna tell him?
Loud girl #2: I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.
Jamaican man: This gon’ get ugly, you hear me?
Loud girl #2: Fine! I’ll tell him! Then you’ll see ugly.
Jamaican man: Jus’ call me Dear Abby. –Elevator, Brooklyn

Not as Much as All Those Abortions

Old lady #1: Your grandson has not been with a girl in a while. He might be gay.
Old lady #2: Hey, he’s not gay, don’t be crazy. Your grandson needs to stop sleeping with every girl; he might get them pregnant.
Old lady #1: Hey, how much is this kielbasa? Translated from the Russian. –Grocery store, Bensonhurst Overheard by: Steve

A Sociopolitical Justification for Post-Modern Man’s Thirst for Pee?

American grad student: Should I be in a fetish video?
French grad student: What would be the point?
American grad student: What do you mean? It’s a fetish video.
French grad student: But what would be the point? What’s the thesis? –Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

The Wednesday One-Liner That Never Sleeps

20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up. –2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Dodd Loomis Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to! –F Train Overheard by: Chelsea S. Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta! –B61 Bus Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable. –Chambers St Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City! –Times Square