Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany? –Barracuda Overheard by: barkeeper Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial? –Eugene Lang College Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday? –N Train Overheard by: D-Law Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people? –ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: jennyooooo Student: Is Swedish even a language? –Columbia University Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both? –M86 Crosstown Bus

Wednesday One-Liners You Can Take Home to Mom

20-something gal: I didn’t really like him, I just wanted a boyfriend. –Fulton & Gold Overheard by: Craig, Marykate and Maryanne 20-something girl on cell: What, my boyfriend? Oh, he’s with his wife tonight. –Remsen & Clinton, Brooklyn Flamboyantly gay man (to himself): He’s just jealous because I have a new boyfriend! –Times Square Overheard by: Liz French woman, earnestly: I’m okay with him sleeping with my boyfriend as long as he starts paying for his own drinks. –1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Ladle Hipster bike punk: I call her my special lady friend and she calls me her gentlemen caller… because boyfriend and girlfriend are too possessive. –Mud Bar, East Village Overheard by: raf

Did You Feel As Dirty As I Did When He Said “Tastebud Sensation”?

Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English. –Liquor Store, Manhattan Overheard by: daile

God Save the Burger King

British teen: Look Mum, it’s Wendy’s.
British Mom: Thank God, now I know where we are.
British teen: But it’s not the same Wendy’s as before.
British Mom: Then we’re lost. –34th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Tina Marney British guy #1: I can’t wait to go home!
British guy #2: Why’s that?
British guy #1: I never noticed before I came here that there is a sense of security in knowing 100% that the person behind the counter can tie their own shoelaces. –Times Square

Without DNA Tests, the Second-Best Way to Determine Ethnicity Is Ass Size

Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: Heather