Chick: So where in Iowa are you from? –UES
Woman walking in Stanley Park in Vancouver to the man with her: “Your serotonin levels seem really high today.”
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes? Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Waitress: How do you want your burgers cooked?
Waitress: Meat is cooked. What color do you want the meat inside to be? Pink, red, brown?
Foreigner: What?! –Jackson Hole, 36th Street
A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES
Hipster #1: People in France are so fucked up.
Hipster #2: Not all of them. Only 20%.
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life. –Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Bully: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? What’s up? Why are you jacking me?
Scared Russian teen: I don’t know what that means! –D Train