Artist: Where are you from?
Tourist: Israel.
Artist: Shalom.
–SoHo
Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category
The Dry Wit Gets Wet
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Unlike All Other Cultures, Which Are a Product of Our Country
Bimbo: So are you ever going to move back to Europe?
Eurotrash: I was thinking about that a couple of times when I was really, really depressed in LA. American culture is such a product of the country.
–Soho
Paging Boris Badinoff
Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name!
–B82 Bus
Europeans Speak on the Issues: The ESB
British Woman: So, what’s the purpose of the Empire State Building again?
British Man: It’s a sign of American power.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien
Little Italian Guy: I’ll bet this whole building weighs at least a thousand pounds.
–Empire State Building (365,000 tons)
Overheard by: Stomach Aches
Frases De Miercoles
Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jobee
Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!
–Mercer & Broome
Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.
–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen
Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.
–105 St & Lexington
Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…
–CVS
Overheard by: Karen
Wednesday One-Liners Refuse to Go to the Outer Boroughs
Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.
–Upper West Side
Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!
–28th & Park Ave
Overheard by: natasha
Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?
–West Side Highway
Overheard by: amalthya
Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.
–48th St & Lexington
Overheard by: anon
The British Ghetto in Texas?
20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying.
Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British?
20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Locational
Just a Couple Of Dudes, Comparing Their Meat.
European: You guys are big on your breakfast.
American: Yeah, not really. Europeans really know how to do breakfast… We don't.
European: I guess. Like we have Polish sausage.
–Starbucks
Your Editors Only Wish We Could Stop Watching Her
Guy: Snookie is not even Italian. She is Chilean.
Girl: Snookie is a creature of her own. I don't know what she is… She likes pickles.
–7th & 1st
Overheard by: R