Man in a thick British accent: There isn’t a town of Leeds in England. I’m from the CITY of Leeds. — Opening night party for an off-Broadway show in Link
American Man: Do they know in Africa who Helen Keller is?
African Woman: Yes…didn’t she have a television show a couple of years ago? –Forest Hills
Drunk: They’re, like, Mafia terrorists! …but they’re French. –Divine Bar West Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Brit Businessman: I hate having to eat. Because you eat and you just feel like a fattie.
Brit Businesswoman: I haven’t eaten.
Brit Businessman: You haven’t eaten?
Brit Businesswoman: Well, I had breakfast and then lunch. –57th and Park Overheard by: Heather
Woman walking in Stanley Park in Vancouver to the man with her: “Your serotonin levels seem really high today.”
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes? Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Waitress: How do you want your burgers cooked?
Waitress: Meat is cooked. What color do you want the meat inside to be? Pink, red, brown?
Foreigner: What?! –Jackson Hole, 36th Street
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding. –Midtown Office
Hipster #1: People in France are so fucked up.
Hipster #2: Not all of them. Only 20%.