Older woman: I'll go over to the Arab across the street and borrow his machete.
Chubby brunette teenager: Grandma, he's not a Sikh… And he's not Arab. He's Bangladeshi.
Older woman: So they say. Who knows what any of them are?
–Central Park
Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category
A Bulgarian Wax Will Pull Your Balkans Off
Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*
Ever Wish You Could Vote Tourists Off the Island?
French tourist, after discussing America's faults in the world, to American man: Can you take a picture of us with the Statue of Liberty in the background?
American man: Ain't she a beautiful bitch?
French tourist: Why do you say “bitch”?
American man: Well, she's French. Welcome to America.
–Staten Island Ferry
…But I Was Going for Macy Grey.
Foreign guy to tall, skinny, black guy with dyed-blonde afro and goatee: You look just like Aretha Franklin. You look just like Aretha Franklin!
Afro guy: Thanks, man.
–Church & Reade
Or Gay Republicans.
Young man #1: My man told me his girl was one of those.
Young man #2: Oh, word?
Young man #1: Yeah, I thought they were imaginary… Like Eskimos.
–A Train
Do Girls Ever Wednesday One-Liner?
Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!
–L Train
Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!
–Deli
Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…
30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!
–Ave B & 3rd St
Overheard by: Mike
Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.
–Astoria
Overheard by: David
Wednesday How Many Liners?
Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?
–Barracuda
Overheard by: barkeeper
Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here
Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?
–N Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?
–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: jennyooooo
Student: Is Swedish even a language?
–Columbia University
Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?
–M86 Crosstown Bus
You Can Always Tell the Public Service Employees Who Have Kids
Well-dressed British lady: Driver, what's the next stop?
Bus driver: I'm not letting you off until you pay your fare. Don't ask me again.
–M31 Bus
Overheard by: Nora
Turns Out She Wanted to Eat at Subway.
Foreign hottie #1: Hello. Where is the subway?
Random girl: What subway?
Foreign hottie #2: Any subway.
Random girl: Well, where are you going?
Foreign hottie #1: The subway.
–2nd Ave & 1st St.
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
How About I Just Wave My “Wand” Around a Little, Then?
Black man to Australian girls in wizard hats: I know magic.
Australian girls: You do not. Tell us a spell then, and not abracadabra. That doesn't count.
Black man: I'll give you a spell. Alakazaam.
Australian girls: Sorry, that's not real. You're too muggle for us, go away.
–33rd St & 2nd Ave