Archive for the ‘Foreigners’ Category

Dude, Where Are My Wednesday One-Liners?

Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.

–17th & Broadway

Overheard by: Vespa

(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy
: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!


–9th & Stuyvesant

Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…

–27th b/w 6th & 5th

Overheard by: Kyle

Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.

–Lower East Side

50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Graham Davis

International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

There's Always a High Fence Between Generations

20-something guy: That new Arizona law is messed-up, man. They are gonna have to…
60-something guy, interrupting: The law is right, they gotta get those Mexicans before they kill us.
20-something guy: What!?
60-something guy: I don't know what Obama is waiting for. They need to make Mexico a state.
20-something guy: Do you even know what your saying?
60-something guy: You're still young. I speak the truth.

–73rd St & Broadway

The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.

–Elevator, 56th & 8th

Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!

–Terminal 5

Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?

–Cafe Esperanto

Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!

–TriBeCa

Overheard by: lalala

Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.

–51st & 3rd

Overheard by: IG

Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.

–4 Train

Overheard by: BQM lady

Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!

–Astor Place