Archive for the ‘Foreplay’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Set the Bar Low and Then Step Over It

Friend: First you suspect he’s a date rapist, and now you’re worried he isn’t going to call? –Union Square Trendy woman: I need to be touched by a man in a loving way…It doesn’t even have to be loving. –Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Ziegfield Overheard by: Nick Draven 20-something girl on cell: I just wanna kiss someone! –M15 bus Girl: I’m going to make out with someone tonight. I’ve already decided. –4th St, between 1st & 2nd Overheard by: Ted Well-dressed guy: You just hate that you can’t get a one-eyed, homeless black guy to think you’re hot. –B train Overheard by: Sugarnuts

NY Age of Consent Is 17 — Coincidence?

Girl #1: So when was your first kiss?
Girl #2: My 17th birthday.
Girl #1: How about your first time making out?
Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday.
Girl #1: …first blowjob?
Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again.
Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity?
Girl #2: 17th.
Girl #1: How about the first time you –
Girl #2: I know what you’re about to ask, and the answer is “my 17th birthday” again.
Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday?

–R train

This Queer Thing Makes More and More Sense

Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty! –116th Street 1 station