Archive for the ‘Frat Boys’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Mind the Gap

Man: All I want is vaginal fluids. Been locked up for years upstate. –Astor Place Hipster dude: It smells like dirty vagina out here. –Graham & Richardson, Williamsburg Amateur gynecologist: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really just a big vagina with sand in it. –93rd & 3rd Frat guy: I don’t know, man…I just don’t trust her vagina. –Outside Ray’s Pizza, Houston St Overheard by: Becky Chubby teen: I’ve never even touched a vagina! –100th & Amsterdam Worker: They had a bet on who ate the best pussy. They get on the stage and take turns going down on her. –32nd & Madison Woman, to store clerk: Excuse me, do you knows where the pussy products is? –Duane Reade, 45th & 6th

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not the Freshmaker

Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee…

–6 Train

Overheard by: j

Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging.

–NJ Transit

Chick: You smell like vag and pizza.

–Borders

Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank.

–E Train

Overheard by: Nicole

College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade!

–1 Train

Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell?

–E 9th & 3rd

Overheard by: Peanut

Wednesday One-Liner Often Wonder How It Started To Be Spelled That Way

Girl: …well it stopped working 'cause it got cum in it.

–W 27th St

Chick: I'm starving. The only protein I've had all day is an accidental cum shot to the face earlier this morning.

–SoHo

Guy to friends: If y'all was to really write it down and make a… a food chain of all of who used to date who, and who's dating who now, I bet you y'all got all the same juices running up in y'all system.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Passing guy on cell: All I'm saying is everyone should have control over where their sperm goes.

–7th Ave

Hoochie on cell : Because I manage to get very juicy.

–L Train

Drunk girl at restaurant holding a champagne bottle: Excuse me, sir, can you open this for me? I'm afraid it's going to cum everywhere.

–Kaleidoscope, E 10th St

College dude: I bet there's semen somewhere on this grass.

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: Liz

The Unbearable Lightness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Rastafarian man to white basketball female player with dreads: Hey! Why you white people always trying to look like me!

–Union Square

Black guy selling Empire State Building tickets: You're from Scotland? I love the Scots… They're puuuuuuurrreee white!

–Outside Empire State Building

Black woman to another, about frat guys nearby: Man, white people are so loud.

–109th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Becks

Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neighborhood with your white crotch! You don't belong here!

–Upper West Side

Black woman to cops walking away: But I'm a Caucasian!

–Bed-Stuy

Paris Hilton: “That's Wednesday One-Liner.”

Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable.

–Williamsburg

College guy to friend: Dude, I'd definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It's not gay.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Stephen

Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it's like menopause. It's either too hot or too cold.

–City University of New York

Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I'm gonna look mad hot tonight. I'ma comb my hair!

–American Apparel

Male professor: I don't care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing's going to happen!

–New York Institute of Technology

Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt