College guy: You could always just become a prostitute.
College girl: That's exactly what I want to do with my degree. I've always wanted to be a whore.
–47th St
Archive for the ‘Frat Boys’ Category
Let's Talk About Wednesday One-Liners, Baby
Loud girl on cell: And he was like "we had sex three times, so I owe you an hour of going down on you." And I was like "okay."
–Mount Sinai School of Medicine
Overheard by: Horrified Med Student
Bro to another: Dude, she's practically paying for your train ride to have sex with you.
–W Train
College guys to another: Dude, have you fingered her yet?
–5th Ave
Attractive girl smoking and talking on the phone: Wait! Are you saying you want me to go to your hotel room… right now?
–15th St & Union Square West
Overheard by: Stephanie
Some Girls Ask to Be Walked on
College girl: He's married and all, but he's really, really hot.
College boy: Isn't he like 50?
College girl: His feet are like size 14. I'm just saying.
–Times Square
Overheard by: soxie
JWowsday One-Liners
Older black man to younger black man: Yeah, cause you don't need to say you're from the Jers to pick up chicks, they ain't like that here, son. I mean, if she's mad hot then you can clue her in that you're from Jersey, but only if you think she can appreciate your flow…
–Lafayette & St. James
Frat boy crossing street: Butthole in New Jersey.
–Flatbush Ave & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Stoned-looking teen to friend: Are you from New Jersey? Maybe you told me, but I can just, like, sense it…
–Union Square
Overheard by: wgoddessw
Guy to friend: Yeah, man, I was watching that show Jersey Shore the other night… Makes me glad I live on Long Island.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Fistpump like a champ
Stressed film major: You are going to give me that fucking power chord. Then I'm going to punch you in the vag. Then you're coming to New Jersey with me.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
I Need a Place to Sleep
Drunk frat boy to other drunk frat boy: Fuck you!
Hobo, overlooking: Not if I get there first!
–1 Train
Smug, Superior Wednesday One-Liners
NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile.
–Washington Square Park
Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles.
–R Train
College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee.
–Williamsburg
Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis?
–Hunter College High School
How to Get Banned from the Vatican, in One Easy Step.
College bro #1, walking quickly: And then we can cum on the floor!
College bro #2: Yeah, dude! Cum on the floor!
–University Place
Overheard by: Wondering Whose Floor
You Don't Really Know Someone 'til You Wednesday One-Liner With Them
Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.
–L Train
Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Sarah
Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Liz
Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.
–University Place & E 9th
…But Enough About Judi Dench…
NYU guy #1: Yeah, she totally came!
NYU guy #2: Twice!
–Cloister Cafe
Only Homosexuals Say “Chill” Anymore
Bro-looking college kid #1: Dude, chill with that heteronormative shit.
Bro-looking college kid #2: Bro, are you shitting me? You're such a fag.
–NYU