Archive for the ‘Frat Boys’ Category

Let's Talk About Wednesday One-Liners, Baby

Loud girl on cell: And he was like "we had sex three times, so I owe you an hour of going down on you." And I was like "okay."

–Mount Sinai School of Medicine

Overheard by: Horrified Med Student

Bro to another: Dude, she's practically paying for your train ride to have sex with you.

–W Train

College guys to another: Dude, have you fingered her yet?

–5th Ave

Attractive girl smoking and talking on the phone: Wait! Are you saying you want me to go to your hotel room… right now?

–15th St & Union Square West

Overheard by: Stephanie

JWowsday One-Liners

Older black man to younger black man: Yeah, cause you don't need to say you're from the Jers to pick up chicks, they ain't like that here, son. I mean, if she's mad hot then you can clue her in that you're from Jersey, but only if you think she can appreciate your flow…

–Lafayette & St. James

Frat boy crossing street: Butthole in New Jersey.

–Flatbush Ave & 7th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunter

Stoned-looking teen to friend: Are you from New Jersey? Maybe you told me, but I can just, like, sense it…

–Union Square

Overheard by: wgoddessw

Guy to friend: Yeah, man, I was watching that show Jersey Shore the other night… Makes me glad I live on Long Island.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Fistpump like a champ

Stressed film major: You are going to give me that fucking power chord. Then I'm going to punch you in the vag. Then you're coming to New Jersey with me.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Smug, Superior Wednesday One-Liners

NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile.

–Washington Square Park

Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles.

–R Train

College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee.

–Williamsburg

Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis?

–Hunter College High School

You Don't Really Know Someone 'til You Wednesday One-Liner With Them

Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.

–L Train

Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Sarah

Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Liz

Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?

–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square

Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.

–University Place & E 9th