Archive for the ‘Frat Boys’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Think “Speed Dating” Requires Meth

Jewish girl: She signs up for JDate, goes out to dinner, and is engaged in four months. I sign up for JDate, and I go out to dinner with a duck. What the hell! –Astoria Suit on cell: That's what you get when you start dating at age 18 while volunteering in a Croatian refugee camp. –M66 Bus Female 30-something suit: Why would you think I don't have taste in men just because I'd do a guy with a hook, or a guy in a wheelchair? –31st & Crescent, Astoria Loud woman on cell: It's called "communication," Larry! Communication! You are such an idiot! –3rd Ave b/w 40th & 41st Overheard by: Tom College guy to friend: I don't understand it, man. Every time I go out with this girl, like her vagina is showing. –8th St & University Man on cell: 26 years? Damn! After 26 days, I'd be all like, "bitch, I love you and all, but the next word that comes outta yo mouth, I'm gonna have to bash yo head in with a frying pan. I'm sicka hearin' the sound of yo voice!" No, of course I don' mean that, baby. –JFK Airport Overheard by: Riot

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Not the Freshmaker

Bimbette: I don't think I've ever been that grossed out during the day. It all started when that woman smelled like pee… –6 Train Overheard by: j Female suit: We were above an Indian restaurant and he was banging me from behind. I could smell the curry, and while he was banging me I was gagging. –NJ Transit Chick: You smell like vag and pizza. –Borders Girl to friend, after bending head down into her: Damn my puss stank. –E Train Overheard by: Nicole College guy (screaming at friend): Dude! How are you even in college?! You smell like Oust! You smell like Tropical Glade! –1 Train Concerned hipster: I know you just orgasmed, but what's that smell? –E 9th & 3rd Overheard by: Peanut

Wednesday One-Liner Cheney

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?! –Waverly Place & Broadway Overheard by: lezbotron Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See? –Brooklyn Overheard by: Brad Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick. –Stanton & Ludlow Overheard by: CN Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is! –Hunter College, 68th & Lexington Overheard by: off white

That’s the Biggest Wednesday One-Liner I’ve Ever Seen on a Man

Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad. –Grand Central Station Overheard by: EthanK Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]
Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough. –66th & Broadway College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough. –12th St & Broadway Overheard by: Strand Customer Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches? –CUNY Queensborough Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches! –Union Square

Wednesday One-liners Need Relationship Counseling

Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch. –82nd & 2nd Overheard by: Rick Segall Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Djlindee Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex. –Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place Overheard by: Sarah C Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love. –Washington Heights Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick? –Times Square Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday. –Union Squre theatre Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out. –Wall Street Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC