Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Yeah, but Dads don’t count

Girl #1: I am not a slut! You’re the slut in this friendship! We agreed on this!
Girl #2: Okay, fine, you’re not a slut… But you were straddling him. –E train Headline by: DanaLishs Runners-Up:
· “I Think She Said It Best” – Lalaith
· “I Thought I Was the Slut and You Were the Gutter Slut?” – Molly
· “I Was Just Evening the Score. You’re Too Far Ahead.” – Jen M.
· “Mary Kate and Ashley, Drunk Again” – Mikey G.
· “Now Go Back to Munching My Box” – K to that B
· “With My Pinkie Out. Like a Lady.” – Courtney from Arkansas
· “Yeah, but Only His Face” – Jason
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema… –50th & 8th Overheard by: chris Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal! –1st Ave & St. Mark's Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes. –Central Park Overheard by: Lola Black Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked. –W 4th St 20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria. –Café

Tonight's Movie: When Brian Met Suzie

20-something hipster boyfriend: Are you attracted to Brian?
20-something hipster girlfriend: No.
20-something hipster boyfriend: I don't believe you.
20-something hipster girlfriend: Okay, well, I can't really say anything that would convince you, except… Me being attracted to your friend Brian is just as likely as you being attracted to my friend Suzie.
20-something hipster boyfriend: Fuck! No! Okay, I believe you. –2 Train Overheard by: emily darwin

There Are No Small Wednesdays– Only Small One-Liners.

Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please! –72nd & Columbus Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Katy Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair. –Victoria's Secret Overheard by: Emm Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man. –Union Square Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: TheMac