Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Go Back to Williamsburg, Wednesday One-Liner!

Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.

–Hop Scotch, Ave A

Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.

–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St

Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.

–A Train

Overheard by: kate

Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!

–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn

Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!

–Hookah Bar, East Village

Overheard by: Marisa

Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?

–125th St

Overheard by: Ali

Because You’re Worth It

Cropped girl #1: Why doesn’t Dawn have any other friends?
Cropped girl #2: Would you hang out with her?
Long-haired girl: Yes. She has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #1: Well, you are easier than other people.
Cropped girl #2: This is why she is our friend.
Long-haired girl: But neither of you has long, shiny hair.
Cropped girl #2: But I did when you first met me.
Long-haired girl: And that has held over.

–13th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Lola

The Way I Open My Heart and You Perform Surgery on It

Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Lauren

The Ugly Business of Wednesday One-Liners

Agitated papi: I love him like a brother, but he a fuckin’ inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish bastard! And he got a ugly baby!

–14th & University

Overheard by: Manhattman


Young Kid
: New York is ugly!


–JFK

Overheard by: Latoya Siratana


Wise teen girl
: That’s not giving up on him. That’s letting him fuck uglier girls.


–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: walking the bridge


Giggling little girl in stroller
: I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly…!


–Downtown R train


Older woman to complete stranger
: You should really stop eating that crap because it’s going to make you uglier than you already are!


–Fairway, W 73rd St

Overheard by: just trying to buy my groceries…


B&T guy
: As I was saying, just ’cause you’re ugly, don’t mean you’re smart.


–Lower East Side


Which Is Why You Don't Have Any Boyfriends, Either

Brunette: I think that's why I don't have any girlfriends. It's just… I'm so tired of apologizing for being in med school and being so smart. And I think people really resent me. But I've been talking with my mom, and we've come to the realization that I have low self esteem.
Friend: Yeah, you talk about med school a lot.

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: Natalie