Indie girl: Defeatism is my Friendster. –2nd Avenue Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Woman: But no one will take care of me!
Man: Don't worry baby, I know where the crack is.
Woman, excitedly: You do!
–29th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Mama B
Girl #1: Most of my friends are from high school.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. They're all having babies.
Girl #3: Most of my friends are babies. (to barista) Grande, non-fat, no-whip mocca.
Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.
–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: George O.
Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Kade
Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?
–Elevator, 75 Wall St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…
Overheard by: Bradburnside
Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?
–22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Edyna
Teenage girl #1: Well, if someone runs up to us you can just shoot him.
Teenage girl #2, astonished: You know what? I think I left my gun in my other pants!!
Teenage girl #1, laughing: Well, watch out! Even though you're my best friend, if an angry man chases us, I'm tripping you!
Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?
–20th St & 6th Ave
Guy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that $5 blowjob.
–Skyfari, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Stefan Yonker
Young man, dismissively: I could fucking suck cocks for a living, it doesn't matter!
–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave
Middle schooler, wrestling in Aids memorial: Ooops, I sucked your dick!
–Hudson River Park
Overheard by: Nina & Phil
Middle-school girl to mother: My e-mail password is "blowjob".
Guy: So you smoke for social reasons? I don't get it.
Girl: You know, I do it so that I can go out and talk to others. I only do it when I'm wanting to spend time with people.
Guy: I still don't get it.
Girl: It's just what I do when I want to spend some time with my friends.
Guy: Oh, so like how cocaine is for me?
Girl: Yeah! Kind of like that.
Tween boy with scooter to friend with skateboard: If I died, would you take my scooter?
Boy: If I died, right now, would you take my scooter, man?
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Pretty girl: My boyfriend thinks it's cool that I have so many gay guy friends, because they are guys who want to talk to me regardless of if I'm pretty or not.
Gay guy: Honey, we only talk to you because you're pretty.
–42nd & 7th