Archive for the ‘Gangstas’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Symbolically Take Back the Power

Black dude to friend: Well, check this out my nigga! Cracking your knuckles does not lead to arthritis… Mythbusters, my nigga!

–Park Slope

Black pimp on cell: That nigger ain't even give you a little nigga baby. All that nigga ever do is just fuck you and leave your ass, bitch. You got a child yoself, take care of your real nigga baby, because that's the nigga who keeps with you. That nigga won't fuck any other sluts. (notices everybody's staring at him) What the fuck y'all niggas lookin at?

–Social Security Office, East Village

Would-be feminist: Pussy don't have no power no more, because if it did, niggas wouldn't be doin' what they do.

–Jefferson Ave & Throop Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jocasta Spell

Polish woman, walking up to group of ghetto fabs: Yo' wut up, my niggas? (pounds fist with ghetto fab guy)

–Delancy St

Overheard by: Kirkegaard

Crazy black man on phone: When you talk like that I'm gonna call you the N-word! (pause) Don't talk like that! (pause) I want to have sex with you.

–Murray Hill

You Really Don't Want to Read Weird Endearments from Your Friends

Ghetto kid #1: Yo, bro, stop textin' me!
Ghetto kid #2, across the street: Bro, I'm not tryin' to text you, I'm tryin' to text my bitch, but your number is right under my bitch's number, so when I'm tryin' to text my bitch, I text you instead!
Ghetto kid #1: Bro, just stop textin me!
Ghetto kid #2: I'm tryin' to text my bitch!

–94th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: NOT his bitch either

I Already Took Out Your Garbage and Walked Your Dog– What More Do You Want?

Asian clerk, yelling at gangsta guy: No, you angry. You not have to come in here and be angry like that.
Gangsta guy, trying to pay for something he wants to buy: I don't need to be yelled at. You ain't yellin at nobody else in here. You ain't yellin at nobody but me.
Asian clerk: No, no…you angry in here.
Gangsta guy: You ain't yellin at nobody else. I don't need to be yelled at. That's what I got a mom for.

–Penn Station