Gangster to son: Yo, nigga, you better not do crack when you grow up.
Gangster son: When I be big, I'ma be a dancer!
–Broadway & Laffayette
Overheard by: alexjeff
Archive for the ‘Gangstas’ Category
His Ignorance Is the Elephant in the Room.
Gangster kid #1: Are you a Democrat or a Republican?
Gangster kid #2: No! Yo, fuck democracy, I'm a Republican!
–Midtown
Straight Guys Love to Hear About My Dick
Black hipster to gangsta friend: Nigga, when I come here I feel like I'm surrounded by Jackie Chan.
Gangsta friend: My dick looks like Jackie Chan.
Black hipster: Man, why you always gotta talk about yo dick?
Gangsta friend: What are you nigga, a faggot?
–Chinatown
Robert Frost: The Lovely Shall Be Choosers, Shall They…?
Gangster kid to female friend: I don't care. I ain't goin' there early. Ain't nobody care.
Friend: But you have a test!
Gangster kid: I'm the sexiest guy in my bio class, so I can do whatever the hell I want!
–Marshak Building, City College
'Ow! Ow! Ow!' Means 'Thanks'?
Gangsta: Yo, you didn't even thank me when I was putting it in your ass!
Girl, indignant: I did thank you!
–Wagner College
Baby, You Can Drive My Wednesday One-Liner
Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?
–W 77th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas
Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?
–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: GretaGarbo86
Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.
–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette
Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!
–A Train
Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?
–13th St & 5th Ave
Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!
–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University
Overheard by: Craig
Well You Eat Popsicles!
Gangsta, passing sushi restaurant: Yo. You wanna eat sushi?
Girlfriend: Sushi? You don't even eat pussy, how you gonna eat sushi?
–8th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Garry Lash
Well, Before the Entrance Exam and the Interview, Yeah
Queer friend to gangsta, enthusiastically: So, lemme ask you a question! How did you decide you wanted to go through with getting initiated and everything?
Gangsta: What?
Queer friend: Like, how did you decide you wanted to join?
(gangsta whispers into friends ear, cautiously)
Queer friend, loudly: So, that's it? You just walk up to them and say, “hey! I'd like to join the bloods”?
–A Train
At Least He's Stopped Thinking It's Another Room
Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What's he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I'm on tv! (manic laugh)
–B64 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Wednesday One-Liners Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”
Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!
–17th & Irving
(pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: momes
Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car!
–Jerry Orbach St
Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car.
–Broadway & Houston
Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over!
–Financial District
Overheard by: lex