Archive for the ‘Gangstas’ Category

I Already Took Out Your Garbage and Walked Your Dog– What More Do You Want?

Asian clerk, yelling at gangsta guy: No, you angry. You not have to come in here and be angry like that.
Gangsta guy, trying to pay for something he wants to buy: I don't need to be yelled at. You ain't yellin at nobody else in here. You ain't yellin at nobody but me.
Asian clerk: No, no…you angry in here.
Gangsta guy: You ain't yellin at nobody else. I don't need to be yelled at. That's what I got a mom for. –Penn Station

Baby, You Can Drive My Wednesday One-Liner

Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari? –W 77th & Central Park West Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work? –Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen Overheard by: GretaGarbo86 Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk. –Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident! –A Train Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world? –13th St & 5th Ave Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon! –Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University Overheard by: Craig

Well, Before the Entrance Exam and the Interview, Yeah

Queer friend to gangsta, enthusiastically: So, lemme ask you a question! How did you decide you wanted to go through with getting initiated and everything?
Gangsta: What?
Queer friend: Like, how did you decide you wanted to join?
(gangsta whispers into friends ear, cautiously)
Queer friend, loudly: So, that's it? You just walk up to them and say, “hey! I'd like to join the bloods”? –A Train

Wednesdays Carry on Behind Their One-Liners' Backs

Guy on cell: You start dating married women, you end up meeting their husbands. –49th & 6th Man on cell (guiltless and disinterested): She said I cheated, duh-duh-duh-duh. –Church St & Barclay Overheard by: Robert J. Anderson Female suit on cell: He cheated on me on my 30th birthday in Nantucket and I called my mom to tell her and she said, "Are you ready to give up that lifestyle? He's wealthy and he's gorgeous. I don't want to hear it." But I want someone to be über-attracted to me. –19th & 8th Overheard by: Sebastian White Dude on cell: Hello? (pause) I told you never to call me on this number. (pause) Because I don't want my wife to find out that we're dating. –6th Ave & 17th St Psuedo-gansta to friend: Yo, I would cheat on my wife except then you gotta buy them flowers and chocolate and shit. I'd rather spend money on my wife and be happy at home. –N Train Girl on cell, doing laundry: Yeah…and then he says that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't cheat on her…so I said, "Really? Then what was your penis just doing in my mouth?" –Laundromat, 9th Ave & 53rd St Overheard by: tinyfoo