Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy! –Grand Central Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant! –TGI Fridays Overheard by: Sara Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts! –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Hannah Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex. –Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: jmike Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time! –96th St station Overheard by: Kind of Confused 20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct. –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Small boy: Mom, I found a kitten!
Mother: Name him Cletus.
Small boy: Cletus, you my only nigga. –Nokia Theatre
Woman #1: He had to take his cat to the vet.
Woman #2: She has to get spaded? –Office, W. 53rd Street
New girlfriend: My cat has asthma.
New boyfriend: Your cat has asthma?
New girlfriend: Yeah. That's why I quit smoking.
New boyfriend: You really need to get rid of those fucking cats. –Movie Theater Line Overheard by: Cindee
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please! –72nd & Columbus Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Katy Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair. –Victoria's Secret Overheard by: Emm Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man. –Union Square Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: TheMac
Hipster cashier: Yeah, and when I’m not working here, I just sit on MySpace and take pictures of my cat and shit.
Female customer: Sounds like the life… –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: catherine
Boy: Is that a hat?
Girl: No, it's my dick. (pause) Wait, what? Is what a hat?
Boy: I thought that thing by the door was a hat.
Girl: A cat? –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny
Guy #1: I mean, not all cats are creative. They can't be. Who do you know who has a creative cat?
Guy #2: Shauna, what about you? Is your cat creative?
Girl #1 (annoyed): I don't even own an animal.
Girl #2 (after a pause, excited): I had a creative cat once! (pause) I did! –Duane Reade Overheard by: are they really talking about cats?
Conductor: Tickets, please. Oh, wow, is that a parrot?
Lady with parrot on her shoulder: Yes, it is. I take him out every mother's day to see my parents. He's on a leash, though, and won't make any noise.
Conductor: Okay, no problem. There's actually a cat in the next car and a dog in the one after that.
Parrot lady's kid: A cat in the next car?! Cats eat birds. One animal per car!
Conductor, deadpan: I've got bad news for you, kid–there's more animals on this car than just that parrot.
Casual observer, not looking up from his paper: Truer words have never been spoken. –Metro North
Little girl: Mommy! I want to open a cat park!
Mother: You mean a dog park?
Little girl: Mooooommmmmmmmm! No! A cat park! –Ave A & St. Mark's Place