Archive for the ‘Gays and Lesbians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Here, They’re Queer, They’re Not Going Anywhere

Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train

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Do You Take This Wednesday to Be Your Lawfully Wedded One-Liner?

Grad student: Translation: Will you marry me? Or: I don’t want germs. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Dude: … My wedding [mumble] gonna take away my clothes, so I’m going to need a tear-away tuxedo. –53rd & Broadway Overheard by: Jo Chick to another: Yeah, he’s the one who wouldn’t marry her because she was too pale. –Starbucks Blonde: … And I’m really not sure, because he said he shouldn’t unless we are married, but that it’s okay, we could just do it and then he could just confess his sins or something like that… –Broadway & Prince Overheard by: Dan Lesbian to group: So, what is the reason behind getting married, besides pretending to be heterosexual? Exactly — presents! –Party, Brooklyn Overheard by: Jude

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“Heterosexuality” – New to the PSP

Guy #1: Oh my god, dude!
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I just lost the game.
Guy #2: Faggot! –Hudson & Leroy Overheard by: Jason Smith Headline by: David S Runners-Up:
· “After Every Game in the Detroit Lions Locker Room” – PeterG
· “It’s All in the Wrist.” – Coyoty
· “Thanks Overheard, Now We’ve All Lost! Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)” – Jen
· “This Is the Last Time Bob Played Homo / No Homo” – BabakganoosH
· “Well, the Game WAS “Only Hit on the Girls”…” – Punzie
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

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He Asked Me to Leave This Backpack Here and Not Open It

Queer: So, I went to that new dance club last night.
Fag hag: Oh, really? Any good?
Queer: Yeah… They were playing some weird disco music, which should’ve tipped me off. But anyway, this guy started hitting on me right away.
Fag hag: Oooh! Was he hot?
Queer: Sorta. I mean, he had this gigantic moustache.
Fag hag: Hmmm. He musta been a terrorist.
Queer: Actually, he did have that terror-esque gleam in his eye.
Fag hag: So, did you hook up or what?
Queer: Oh, yeah, totally fucked him in the bathroom. That terror-esque gleam is damn sexy. –Lincoln Center Overheard by: MiMi

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This Time We’ll Watch Softball and Drink Beer

Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]
Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby. –M&M Store, Times Square

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Wednesday One-liners Are the New Lavender

Crazy guy: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Homosexuality! Heh heh heh. –53rd Street station Guy on cell: No, I’m waiting for the ferry…No, not him; the boat that goes into the city. –Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island Overheard by: Chris Cotterman Girl: She said she wasn’t attracted to me! I mean, I’m straight as a goat, but…am I ugly? –R train Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian Middle-aged guy: You know, somebody needs to tell gay men that they’re not 17 year old girls. –David Barton Gym, 23rd Street Queer: For God’s sake, be creative. We’re gay! –West Elm, 18th Street Woman on cell: It’s really gay outside right now. –Bowery & 4th Dude: I thought I saw Matt Damon; then I realized it was just a gay guy. –Barrow Street Crazy guy: And what do gay people do with the money they save on child support? The parade! They pay for the parade. –53rd Street station

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