Two men walking arm-in-arm down 8th Ave. in Chelsea: “Wait, I don’t get it. You mean you want to date, like, girls?”
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot. –W Train
Yuppie in Yabby, in Williamsburg: “I didn’t mean to turn my sister into a lesbian! It just happened!”
An activist interrupts a group of yuppie chicks having a discussion.
Activist: Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Chick #1: Sorry.
Activist: Have a good day. He leaves them to their conversation. Chick #1: Then he’s been getting after me about how I’m selfish, and about how selfish I am. –Union Square
Hobo: Damn, that nigga be happier than a faggot in a bag of dick. –125th & Lexington
Man: I directed a show at a musical theatre awards dinner last night. All the great, older musical writers were there: Kander, Ebbs, everyone. You should see their wives. They’re gorgeous.
Woman: They have wives? I thought they were gay.
Man: Oh, no. They’re Jewish. –LES
Girl: I’m, like, the token one. I’m the only lesbo there! –West 4th and 6th Ave Overheard by: Jamie
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now? –East Village Overheard by: Tibbie X
Queer: New York is a gay-Jewish city; of course everybody complains! –6 train Overheard by: Secondhand Nose
Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she’s dressed like a woman, she really is a woman.
Chick #2: Unless you’re in Chelsea. –1 Train