Archive for the ‘Gays and Lesbians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for the Fine Young Cannibals

Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy.

–37th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Matthias Sundberg

Karaoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm craaaaaazy!" It's Memorial Day and I'm sitting here singing to people I never met before in my life. Mmmmmm…craaaazy!

–Times Square Subway Station

Black woman to janitor companion: I am so glad I live in the ghetto. These motherfuckers down here are crazy! (companion nods) And I live in the ghe-tto, 2 train ghetto.

–22nd St & 5th Ave

Hobo, watching man and woman having sex against a statue: I think I'm going to have to move to Europe or something. This place is getting too crazy.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Westsider

30-something guy on cell: Well, that's what my crazy sister said about my more crazy sister.

–Broadway & 114th St

Overheard by: mary e.

Little boy in abandoned shopping cart: I've gotta get off this crazy train!

–Target, Atlantic Ave

Wednesday One-Liners Go Chasing Waterfalls

Guy in line for the bathroom: Man, it takes a lot of trust to let someone piss through your legs.

–Angelika Theater

Girl: If I had a barbecue on my stoop, three queens would pee on it on the first night. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't, since it's a historically gay street. But I've seen so many queens peeing on Christopher Street when it's nice out!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Donk

Really drunk girl: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don't have a penis.

–14th St

NYU girl, immediately after taking shot of tequila: Guys, I have to pee, but I don't want to pee out the patron!

–NYU Dorm

NYU girl: I'm going to go see her! I sobered up for this! I drank tons of water! I could pee my ass out!

–8th & University

Short cop on his phone: Peed? You peed on the bed?

–21st St b/w 3rd & 2nd

Wednesday One-liners Are the New Lavender

Crazy guy: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Homosexuality! Heh heh heh. –53rd Street station Guy on cell: No, I’m waiting for the ferry…No, not him; the boat that goes into the city. –Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island Overheard by: Chris Cotterman Girl: She said she wasn’t attracted to me! I mean, I’m straight as a goat, but…am I ugly? –R train Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian Middle-aged guy: You know, somebody needs to tell gay men that they’re not 17 year old girls. –David Barton Gym, 23rd Street Queer: For God’s sake, be creative. We’re gay! –West Elm, 18th Street Woman on cell: It’s really gay outside right now. –Bowery & 4th Dude: I thought I saw Matt Damon; then I realized it was just a gay guy. –Barrow Street Crazy guy: And what do gay people do with the money they save on child support? The parade! They pay for the parade. –53rd Street station

What's More American Than Wednesday One-Liners?

Guy on cell: Come on, one third of Americans don't pay their taxes. I want to be one of them.

–7th Ave & Garfield, Brooklyn

Guy on cell: Does he know where he is? This is America–this is America. They makin' ice cream every second! I don't know what he's complainin' about, they got chains makin' food 24 hours a day…they even makin' milk on Christmas!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Tess

Obnoxious black guy to another: I was watchin' a special on tv last night talkin' about how gays can't be in the war! When they find out the whole America is gay, we're screwed!

–45th & 9th

Construction worker to another: Hell, I could break down George Bush in a debate. And I'm a fuckin' plumber! (pause) I hate my damn nation…

–Dunkin' Donuts, Astoria, Queens

Conductor: This is the r local to Continental… Forest Hills… Queens… USA!

–R Train

Overheard by: Mugsy's Moll