Archive for the ‘Gays and Lesbians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for Chandler Bing’s Dad

Dude: Is it true the city is outlawing fat trannies?

–14th & 9th

Girl on cell: … But the conversation is getting so good! I’m announcing my attraction to trannies, and you’re talking about the S-and-M relationship of our friends!

–Harlem

Overheard by: Poogins

Crazy drunk man to 11-year-olds: Suck my dick, bitch! And my pussy!

–F train

Tranny to Jehovah’s Witnesses: You don’t know nothing about God. I ain’t got no testicles. You can’t tell me about God.

–149th & St. Nicholas

Overheard by: KcB

Chubby guy: I don’t hang with women with tits smaller than mine.

–Sidewalk cafe, Greenpoint

Overheard by: Big Larry

Butch woman on cell: So, Jennifer — you know, my ex-wife’s boyfriend…

–Payless Shoe Source, 34th St

Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.

–University & 4th St

Overheard by: sarah

Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!

–147th & Convent

Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: Christopher Schulz

Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.

–Macy's

Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?

–Meatpacking District

Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack

M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay! –Astor Place Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right? –9th St, Park Slope Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys? –NYU Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair. –Peculier Pub, Bleecker St Overheard by: Mad Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play. –Broadway Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay! –Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick! –5th Ave, Park Slope

It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!

–Ave B & 10th St

Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!

–St. Marks Place

Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.

–1st & 3rd

Overheard by: Angela

Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!

–7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!

–CVS

Overheard by: freshly brewed.

Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!

–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn

Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: Raven

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!

–Varick &Vandam


Ghetto girl
: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!


–9th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: david hyman


Darrell Hammond
: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.


–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins


Angry man on cell
: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!


–3rd Ave & 9th St


Girl on cell
: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.


–2nd & A


Thug
: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!


–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest


Queer
: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!


–Jamaica Ave and 150th St

Overheard by: Rodney-Rod