Archive for the ‘Gays and Lesbians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Here to Fix the Cable

Guy: So, I saw this video online of a chick who tied her beef curtains in a knot… –Astor Pl Chick: Maybe I should scrap my dissertation and just write erotica? –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Chick: My favorite porn line, and possibly my favorite movie line ever, is, ‘Suck it, my queen. Suck it.’ –Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Pl Overheard by: Rose Fox Intern to another: They do too make gay pornography! –42nd & Madison Overheard by: Nicolas Agrait Cube neighbor on phone with friend: So, the first thing she needs to do is throw it out — get rid of all the porn. I mean, she has closets and closets full of it! –Midtown 20-something woman on cell: I may be too analytical for erotica. –Outside Century 21 Overheard by: McFreaky

Now I Know My Wednesday One-Liners, Next Time Won’t You Wednesday One-Liner With Me?

Little boy singing to mother: E is for druggies! –R Train Overheard by: Allegra Crazy hobo: Take the V train! V is for vasectomy. Why take the crowded E train where all the lesbians will crush you? –V Train Platform Overheard by: Tom Conductor: This is 14th Street. Transfer here for the L as in "lower level of hell". –F Train Overheard by: So True Little boy playing with chopsticks: Look mom! (forms a V) V for Victoria! (forms an X) X for xylophone! (forms a T) and T for terrorist! –Japanese Restaurant, 3rd & 25th Conductor over loudspeaker: I know it’s Saturday afternoon and all you people are mad confused because the trains are all messed up on weekends, so listen up: The W as in "Will you marry me?" will be running on the Q as in "cookie" line. And the R as in (goes in operatic singing voice) "rooooooooooomeooooooooooo" will be running normally for the rest of the weekend. Alright y’all… There you go. Enjoy your Saturday! –Canal Street Subway Station Overheard by: stfo

Wednesday One-Liners for Chuck Bass

Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man? –Union Square Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you. –Bar, Upper West Side Overheard by: Eric Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big. –Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg Overheard by: letthemusicplayy Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole! –Rite Aid, Grand Central

…Let Me Get One of Those Straight-People Double-Ended Dildos…

Man to confused ladies turning around to exit porn shop: We have straight stuff too!
Women, re-entering store: Oh! In that case… –Chelsea Headline by: Paul Tabachneck Runners-Up:
· “All Our Dildos Are Unisex…” – Jacques
· “But You’ll Need to Enter the Store Via the Front Door” – Zorak
· “Do You Have Any Dildos Shaped Like Clay Aiken?” – Clay got a bitch preggers…
· “I’ll Take 600 Of Your Finest, Blackest Dildos, Please.” – porter
· “Ironically, It’s In the Rear.” – Allison
· “It´s In the Back Behind the Curtain” – Deek
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