Black woman: I kept telling him, “You don’t see a black woman from the ghetto every day.” He has to understand. –51st Street station Parking attendant: All the white people I know are crooks. –Parking lot, 46th between 8th and 9th Overheard by: eristic Jewish Professor: …for example, we have the white people that vote, and we have the nig…bla…African-Americans that vote… –NYU classroom
White woman: How are things with John?
Asian woman: I don't know. He's just not manly enough for me. He listens to Miss Saigon at the gym. Maybe he has an Asian fetish.
White woman: Sounds more like he has a dick fetish.
Overheard by: Brad
Gay #1: Women love to say that word.
Gay #2: They totally do.
Gay #1: Va-jay-jay.
–Ave B & 10th St
Overheard by: Courtney
Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…
Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.
–Gallery Players, Park Slope
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.
Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!
–Walgreens, Union Square
Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!
Overheard by: Minerva
Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.
Overheard by: Emily B.
Girl #1: I wish the bus would come.
Girl #2: I wish I was a girl.
Girl #1: Feminism is about choice. For example, I choose not to be Susie Homemaker and you choose not to be a dominatrix.
Girl #2: That’s true.
–6th & 5th, Park Slope
Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?
–Bedford Ave & 8th
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.
–Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Eric
Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.
Overheard by: Henry Pena
Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.
Overheard by: Ladle
White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!
–Broome & Forsyth
Overheard by: Terry
FDNY lieutenant to EMTs: Hey, get this! Some guy just called 911 because some guy looked scary!
–34th & 10th
Overheard by: guy in back of ambulance
Gay guy to another: I'm terrified of successful women!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Moy
(guy with drums finishes a performance in the train)
Guy with drums: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. Help a brother out and donate some money if you enjoyed this performance. (lady in front of him looks scared)
Please donate and if you don't know what to do or are scared, smile and nod. Everything will be okay.
Overheard by: Sleepy
Crazy bag lady to high school boy: I ain't scared of you. I'll beat you with a crowbar. Cuz I gotta crowbar in my pussy and it's way up there!
Suit on cell: And I was scared, right? Because her legs were open in the cemetery.
Brooklyn grandmother to another: My grandson is so different now that he's become a woman.
Middle aged man in binoculars on cell: Yeah! And just like that she threw me out! She kicked me out on my ass! She walked in and I was in her bra… and that was it!
–87th & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: GoneWithThe
Small black guy: Of course I'm a transvestite! Why else do you think it took you three guys to beat me up?
–W 36th St
Overheard by: Ellen
Twink to others: Sometimes you think a little boy is a child and then he turns out to be a much older woman.
Overheard by: Urch
Attractive blonde: And then the… transvestite beauty queen thing happened. You know?
–Middagh & Henry
Overheard by: Matty
Female law student in interview suit: I just get along with older white guys. We click. Women, younger guys, no so much.
Fellow law student: That's because you're fertile.
–Fordham Law School