Archive for the ‘Gender issues’ Category

At Least Wednesday One-Liners Can Cook

Drunk college girl: I don’t mean to have sex with ugly guys but more often than not… –Columbia University Overheard by: Lo Thuggish dude on cell: … You want to look in the mirror and be like ewww, while everyone else looks at you and is like, ooh, you know what I’m saying? When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror I think to myself shit, I am one ugly motherfucker, how the hell do I get so many bitches? –7 Train Overheard by: Andrea Dumpy man waiting on line: I didn’t know court was a beauty contest for ugly women. –Downtown NYC Courthouse Man fighting with random woman on train: You’re as ugly as the tip of my dick! –4 Train Overheard by: Marlon B Teenage girl to group of friends: Oh! Did I tell you *Jessica had her baby? Yeah, that shit ain’t ugly. –Cobble Hill Loud girl: Omigod I’m soooo pissed! Like, she’s so ugly. Much uglier than me. And you know on Halloween, if I hadn’t been bleeding from my vagina and puking in a bowl he would have hooked up with me instead. –Fordham University Overheard by: I was puking in a bowl when I heard this too

Wednesday One-Liners for Black History Month

Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people. –Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid! –B1 Bus Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall! –Time Square Overheard by: Jennie Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man! –Queens Overheard by: BigFatTiger Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now! –Queens College

Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege. –W 13th St Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes! –10th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras? Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on. –4 Train Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome. –Christopher St Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass. –Times Square 11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister. –Bronx Playground Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys! –Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

“Roly Poly” Isn’t a Very Funny Pet Name

Guy #1: Dude, you’re fat as shit and getting balder by the minute, you really need to lock her in.
Guy #2: I don’t know man, she is super cool. She’s just so sensitive about everything.
Guy #1: Like what?
Guy #2: I make jokes that she doesn’t understand and gets mad really easily and takes everything so personal.
Guy #1: What do you mean?
Guy #2: Well…I guess she just doesn’t like it when I make fun of her. –4 train