Guy #1: Full disclosure: I've got a penis.
Guy #2: Oh… No worries, so do I.
–Launch Party of Transgendered Female-to-Male Magazine (Original Plumbing)
Archive for the ‘Gender issues’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Don't Always Add Up
Conductor: We have eleven cars today. If we only have five cars tomorrow, don't have short term memory loss and say, "five cars, this happens all the time."
–Metro North
Hot dog vendor to guys standing behind stand: 100 times I've fucked, and have 98 kids.
–Outside Metropolitan Museum of Art
Teen hipster girl to friend : On a scale of one to ten, how many cars are coming?
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erika
Angry man on cell: Don't talk to me like that! I'll leave you! I will leave you! You know how many women there are in this world? (pause) A thousand!
–45th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Native Ear
Hey, Worked for Molly Ringwald.
Girl in truly ridiculous dress: I am a strong, independent woman! I don't need a man in my life!
Friend: Amy*, you're wearing pink and ruffles.
–Lincoln Center
It's Bloody Hell!
Preppy blonde: So like, you know how it kinda hurts when your tampon gets too full?
Flamboyantly gay friend: Oh, yeah, I hate that.
–A Train
Wednesday Conga Liners
Young gay: It's gay upon gay in that establishment, but not one person's dancing!
–Boiler Room, E 4th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: That's because it's the Boiler Room
Mother to five-year-old son looking at Rockettes signage: Well, for one thing, you have to be a girl. And you also have to really long legs.
–Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Bryan
Girl: Woah, there's no one in the dance studio. That's so ironic!
–Beacon School
20-something girl: Well, the way he was dancing, I couldn't not take his wallet!
–1st Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: rachel
A Feminist Critique Of Wednesday One-Liners
Chick: Was she a gymnast, or a feminist?
–Café, 113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Anthropology professor: Everyone's a misogynist. Women attend seminars, "seminar" comes from the word "semen," which comes from the Latin for "a unit of knowledge." And this, my friends, is how women get smart.
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: thats how I got into NYU
Rambling man: Nobody's gonna be in charge anymore! (pause) Except the ladies.
–Rivington & Forsyth
Wednesday Two-Become-One Liners
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
–E Train
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.
–Staten Island
Today, Wednesday One-Liner Is a Woman.
Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: 447ght
Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!
–112th St & St. Nicholas
Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: allie
Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though…
–Barnard
Overheard by: Brooklyn
I Don't Recall Asking You the Time
Teenage boy: Did you know that “woman” spelled backwards is “kitchen”?
Female suit with briefcase: Go fuck yourself.
–Times Square
Wednesday Out-Liners
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest