Shrimpy guy, singing: Summertiiiiiime, and the livin' is easy…
Black guy: Man, the sons be actin' like daughters and the daughters be actin' like sons!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Porgy
Archive for the ‘Gender issues’ Category
Would That Have Been Better? Discuss.
Girl #1: When is she having the baby?
Girl #2: Real soon… I wouldn't be surprised if she had it today!
Girl #3: I hope it's a boy.
Girl #2: No. If it is, she's giving it up for adoption. For real. I stood over her and saw her sign the papers. She should've just gotten an abortion.
–L Train
Overheard by: Jayboi
Wednesday Sung Liners
Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!
–Union Square Station
Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)
–11th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mal Sullivan
Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…
–2 Train
Overheard by: drew
Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…
–E Train
I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm
Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
The Au Jus Of Wednesday One-Liners
11 year-old boy throwing water balloon back and forth: It's like a hymen, perfectly intact after a minor rape! (balloon is thrown to him and bursts all over him) Oh, sweet hymen juices!
–Tompkins Square Park
Eight-year-old boy to another: God, just drink your spit!
–90th St & 2nd Ave
Drunk hobo with hand-down pants: I'm not going to ejaculate! (repeats it over and over)
–D Train
Overheard by: seat changer
Blind woman to blind friend: Sweaty people suck.
–W 23rd Street
Overheard by: Cool and Dry
Little girl: I don't like boys! They're mean and they sweat a lot!
–2nd & Ave A
Young girl to boy: Ewwww, I'm dripping cum!
–Hester & Allen
Overheard by: lower east side
NYC Rule #2: When Cornered, Employ Irrational Insults
Female umbrella buyer: Why you callin' me “ma'am”?
Male umbrella seller: “Ma'am” means “a female.” You're a female, right?
Female umbrella buyer: You're a female too!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: Morgan
Eek.
Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Sunny
…Repeatedly
Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, I'd rape him.
Boy: How does a woman rape a man?
Girl: If I ever met Johnny Depp, you'd find out.
–S54 Bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: Tracy
…Now Correct Your Posture or I'll Burn You.
Harridan: Put out that cigarette! Put it out! You can't smoke on the subway! Put it out!
Hobo: (puffs)
Bro: Sir, would you please put out the cigarette?
Hobo: Sure.
Bro: Thank you.
Harridan: You wouldn't put it out for me! Why did you put it out for him? Do you hate women? Was it your mother?
Hobo: He said “please” and “thank you.”
–2 Train
Hillary Swank Gets That a Lot
Guy #1: That wasn't a dude, though.
Guy #2: That wasn't a dude?
Guy #3: That was not a dude.
–A Train
Overheard by: rick