Archive for the ‘Getting Off’ Category

Say, Aren’t You My Congressman?

Older man: Hey, can I ask you about that digital camera you have?
20-something guy: Yeah, sure. Thinking of buying one for your kid or someone?
Older man: When you take pictures on that thing, do you have to bring it to the photo store still to get developed?
20-something guy: Oh, no. I mean, you can and they can do it for you, but I usually just print–
Older man: –You can print them at home, right? Okay, good, because I sometimes take personal pictures, and I hesitate to bring them to the photo store. Doing it in private would be better for me. Now, I can delete them or save them in a secret hiding place at home too… Right?
20-something guy: … Uh, I suppose. –6 train, Union Square Overheard by: Matty K

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Oldest Wednesday One-liners Profession

Crazy guy: Do you see what I put up with? That’s it, it’s over. We have not had sex in ten years. She says she don’t need it…Then I have to sleep with nigger whores. That’s right, Joan, I said it. I sleep with nigger whores, even some white whores. That’s the only way I can get off now. –Da Andrea, Hudson Street

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Wednesday One-liners Know What You Like

Girl on cell: Yeah, baby, I’m all alone in my apartment on my bed. I’m taking my panties off now. Mmm, I’m touching myself, thinking of you. I’m all wet for you, baby. –outside Starbucks, 54th & Broadway Suit on cell: Yes, I’m wearing suspenders. –Wall & Broadway Overheard by: Alexis

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Wednesday One-liners Got It in Pearl

Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down… –43rd & 8th

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

We All Came on Our Birthdays

Black chick #1: You know what’s the funniest birthday card I ever read?
Black chick #2: What?
Black chick #1: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, happy birthday to you, I hope you bust a nut.”
Black chick #2: Yeah, on your birthday you gotta cum. –Duane Reade, Penn Station Overheard by: Turby

Republished by Blog Post Promoter