Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!

–Varick &Vandam


Ghetto girl
: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!


–9th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: david hyman


Darrell Hammond
: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.


–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins


Angry man on cell
: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!


–3rd Ave & 9th St


Girl on cell
: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.


–2nd & A


Thug
: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!


–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest


Queer
: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!


–Jamaica Ave and 150th St

Overheard by: Rodney-Rod


Wednesday One-Liners Burn, Baby, Burn

Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work. –Christopher & Bleecker Overheard by: J. Ann Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka. –106th & Columbus Overheard by: Shmoop Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you. –17th & 5th Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes. –Elevator, 120 Wall St Overheard by: Aubrie Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8. –1 train Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be. –Washington & Charles Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok. –Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Morlock v. Eloi: The Prequel

A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as possible for a solid minute. Preppy girl: Are you serious with that? Can you do everyone a favor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talking to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Preppy girl: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your screaming phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her people love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Preppy girl: I’m trying to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stupid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but figure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f-ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pretty face.
Preppy girl: Pretty face? Where? –N train Overheard by: Matty M.

Wednesday One-Liners Is People!

Little girl to mother: I like the way you taste.

–SoHo

Overheard by: nicky d

Dude on cell: Mice are cannibalizing other mice? Oh, god, that’s awful!

–7 train, Queens

Overheard by: Anthony

Goth chick to another: I don’t care, I am not eating Matthew’s mother’s flesh!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Me neither

Ghetto dude: Heh, heh… Heh… Fried nigga-fingers!

–13th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rebecca Odorisio

Ghetto girl to two others: He said he was gonna marinate me for a while… Yes, he did!

–Manhattan-bound E train

Overheard by: Julz

Chick on cell: We’ll never run for office on the conservative Christian ticket now that we’ve discussed eating fetuses with teriyaki sauce.

–Harlem

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry