Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!
–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!
–27th St, between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Hungry
Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!
–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington
Overheard by: V
Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!
–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk
30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CourtSnort
Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: Jingles
Archive for the ‘Ghetto Chicks’ Category
Tonight's Classic Horror Movie: Slather
Ghetto girl #1: You know I look good in this outfit, but I should not have worn it today, especially after applying cocoa butter all over my ass.
Ghetto girl #2: That's why you gotta cocoa yo' ass before you go to bed at night.
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, you know I do that too.
Ghetto girl #2: Better to have too much cocoa butter on than to be a ashy hoe man like Britney Spears.
–10th Ave b/w 57th & 56th
It's a Vicious Cycle.
Ghetto girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Ghetto girl #2: Spray some perfume on your shoes.
Ghetto girl #1: I already tried that, and Britney's new perfume ain't strong enough!
Ghetto girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!
–Broadway b/w Maiden Lane & Liberty
Which Is Like a Cheating “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card, Right?
Ghetto girl: What's wrong wit you?
Hoodlum: Yo, I already told you I was bisexual!
–McClellan St & Sheridan Ave
Overheard by: South Bronx Beat Cop
The Date Came Later, As Is Proper
Ghetto chick #1: Oh no! We didn't fuck on the first date!
Ghetto chick #2: What do you mean you didn't? Stop, stop, stop! You got me all twisted!
Ghetto chick #1: I mean… if you really think about it, it wasn't a date…
–E Train
Wednesday One-Liners: Soon to Be Gentrified
Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.
–28th & Lexington
Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.
–6 Train
Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.
–Jackson Heights
Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.
–Lenox & 118th St
Overheard by: K
If It's Not Popping/ I'm Not Stopping
Angry ghetto chick #1: Bitch, after what you did to me, I ain't gonna wear no lip gloss to yo wedding!
Angry ghetto chick #2: Oh, bitch, you can try, but I will put the lip gloss on you!
–Columbus & 65th
Overheard by: Liat
Except at the End You Shit Out a Baby
Ghetto girl: Jes-tay-shun! Gestation. What does that mean?
Ghetto girl's friend, thoughtfully: Like… Digestion.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Jess K.
If They Could Erect Things That Quickly, Wouldn't the Freedom Tower Be Built by Now?
Ghetto girl #1: What are you staring at?!
Ghetto girl #2: That wasn't there before.
Ghetto girl #1: What?
Ghetto girl #2, very seriously: The Empire State Building!
–34th & 6th
“Luke, I Am Your Wednesday One-Liner”
Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.
–Suffolk County Community College
Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention
Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: I don't work here
Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!
–Fulton & Water
Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.
–145th & Broadway
Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!
–74th & Madison
Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: Tim J.