Archive for the ‘Gifts’ Category

Smell My Wednesday One-Liners! Smell Them!

Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum? –City Hall New York Sports Club Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita! –Union Square Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! –23rd St Overheard by: Ladle 20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r. –R Train 20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better. –Bond St

Little Wednesday One-Liner on the Prairie

20-something woman on cell: I fuck you, I get dinner. He fucks you, he gets a house! –Washington Square Girl: Earthquakes come every ten years, and it's not that bad. It's not like your house goes down or something. –Flushing, Queens Overheard by: mia Excited kindergartner: We played house and then we played going to the co-op! –Park Slope Overheard by: Rose Fox Elderly man to another: People are gonna kill people, they just need to do it in their own house. –Austin St & 77th Ave 20-something: So yeah, we used to hang out in elementary school. He'd come over my house, kinda like a "whose cock is bigger?" kinda thing. –Brooklyn Overheard by: AnnaBanana

Wednesday Flatliners

Girl on cell: You told me that bitch was dead, but I just saw her in Key Food. –Williamsburg Middle school girl: No, he wasn't dead, but you'll never guess what happened. –Penn Station Man on phone: No! No! Do you hear me!? Listen! It's time to die! –33rd & Broadway Overheard by: J Harmony Man on cell: I went back into the room 30 minutes later and he was still breathing! What are we going to do? –8th & 34th Overheard by: Bret B Adorable three-year-old girl to mother: When I die you can have all of my shiny stuff! –Uptown A Train Overheard by: The Green Cat

“What What (In the Wednesday One-Liner)”

Girl to teenage posse: Either the pen was really weak or his butt was really strong. –Jackson Heights, Queens Overheard by: Newsbunny doesn't want to know Crazy guy to self, after average woman walks by: Damn, that was a fine ass, a fine ass, that ass was so fine I'd eat a sandwich out that ass! –36th & Broadway Overheard by: Dingleberry Large grown woman to grown man: I thought you have all sorts of butt magazines… –34th & 8th Guy to girl: I like it when you wear jeans, girl! It's like your ass is gift wrapped! –33rd & 7th Older woman to younger woman: If your booty deserves the credit, give it the credit! –Central Park Overheard by: Hell Yeah Give it the Credit!