Archive for the ‘Girl-on-Girl’ Category

Unless You Brought Enough Pussy For Everyone, You’re Going to Have to Spit That Out

RA: No sex in the dorms after curfew!
Girl #1: But what about lesbian sex?
RA: Well, that’s okay, but not in the common room. Unless everyone’s involved. Then it’s okay.
Girl #2: And clean up after yourselves!

–Columbia University

Two Polka Days, Two Family Therapy Days

Girl #1: I’m telling you, it’s impossible to see all of Milwaukee in four days. There’s just too much to do.
Girl #2: Well, can we go to Polka Days, at least?
Girl#1, angrily: How many times do I have to say this, we can’t do Polka Days and see all of Milwaukee all in one visit. That’s crazy.
Girl #2: I’m kinda nervous. Are we going to tell your mom we’re dating or just friends?
Girl #1: Yeah, we should totally go to Solly’s Grill on the Northside. They have the best burgers in the world. I’m so stoked. –Chelsea Grill Hell’s Kitchen, 9th Ave

May/December Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days. –3rd between B & C Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience. –124th & Manhattan Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. –LIRR Overheard by: Squatporpoise Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys. –NYU School of social work Overheard by: Maggie

A Bird in Hand is Worth Two in the Bush

Paparazzo: So you two are really pretty, have you ever done any modeling?
Dutch girl #1: Ha ha ha, not me, maybe her.
Dutch girl #2: No, I am studying history at home.
Paparazzo: You really should consider it, there is great money in it and I would love to help you get started.
Dutch girl #2: Sounds interesting…what type of modeling?
Paparazzo: Well, nude sells the best. We can go over to my place and discuss it.
Dutch girl #1: Great!
Dutch girl #2: Maybe you can take some of us together. –Times Square Overheard by: Stephanie Nally

Let’s Stir Up Some Hilarity!

Receptionist: So, it’s your name on the insurance card?
Girl: No, it’s my partner’s.
Receptionist: Your husband?
Girl: No, my partner.
Receptionist: What’s his name?
Girl: Emily.
Receptionist: Your husband’s name is Emily?
Girl: She’s a girl.
Receptionist: Oh…Ohhh. –Park Slope ob/gyn Receptionist: Do you have an appointment here?
Guy: Yes, I’m the 3:35.
Receptionist: No, you’re not.
Guy: Oh yes I am.
Receptionist: This is gynecology.
Guy: Ah. –W. 72nd St. ob/gyn