Archive for the ‘Girlfriends’ Category

I Was Born a Wednesday, but I Identify With One-Liners

Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. –8th & 9th Overheard by: cracking up Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they're into women, sign me up. –Astor Place Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here… –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Al-master Guy to friend: She's not a tranny, but she's, y'know: tran-y. –Grand St & Bedford Ave Overheard by: KateM Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It's more complicated than that. –21st St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Ben

Use a Wednesday, So You Don't Get One-Linered Up

Man helping woman carry stroller down stairs: If you had taken the bloody pill when you said you were taking it, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. –Broadway-Lafayette B/D/F/V Station Overheard by: Jon A. Man walking with girlfriend, loudly: Wait, did you bring your diaphragm? –Times Square Loud woman on cell: How many times do you have to have sex, and have a baby, before you realize: "If I have sex without a condom I will get someone pregnant."? Seriously! –Broadway & 103rd St Overheard by: Amy Guy on phone: I always tell people that sex with you with a condom is better than sex with other girls without a condom. –Outside Trader Joe's, 14th St Zoo guide: This zoo likes to be careful with breeding animals by taking into account genes and the like. But then again, Zippy–the baby snow monkey–came along. So be careful with your birth control. –Central Park Zoo, by the Snow Monkeys Girl to another: I just don't see why we can't make our own condoms. –14th St & 4th Ave

Wednesday One-Liners–No Apologies Necessary

Suit on cell: I swear, I’m going to make her the sorriest crippled girl in New York. –Avenue C Hipster on iPhone: Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you–I have an iPhone. –6th & 27th Hipster girl to out-of-town friend: Sorry about the smell, this area just recently gentrified. –Orchard Street b/w Broome & Grand Loud, drunk, British girl to boyfriend: We don’t know each other’s minds -we can’t read each other’s minds! So when you do something I don’t like and I tell you and then later you do something I don’t like and I tell you again… Well that’s two sorries in one day! And "sorry" is just a word, but you’re learning about me! About my mind. –Broadway & Waverly Overheard by: rpk Woman on cell: Oh sorry, I have to go. Remember that woman that got pregnant by a bear? Yeah, I just ran into her. –Astor Place Dominican to friend: And just wait until I tell them all he’s Dominican… he’ll really be sorry then! –5th Ave, near Empire State Building Overheard by: Rich Mintz