Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

Unless It’s an Apparition Doing the Molesting, Like That Hot Scene in Ghostbusters

Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: if walls had ears

Lions, and Tigers, and Wednesday One-Liners — Oh My!

20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.

–Starbucks, West Village

Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies

Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!

–Broadway

Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Mickey

Maybe if it was, your father would finally want to give me an orgasm

Daughter: But mom, I don’t like the chicken.
Mother: Sorry, honey, not everything can be McDonald’s.


Headline by: Snowy in Seattle


Runners-Up:
· “Hates the chicken, but loves the cock” – Humberto
· “Hookers on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”” – Krisztina
· “Just give George Bush one more term…” – Noh
· “M.A.F.D.- Mothers Against Fat Daughters” – L Friz
· “McDonlads is the only thing that doesn’t taste like chicken” – Babakganoosh
· “So shut up and eat the rest of your Meow Mix” – remark



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