Fat Chick: Thank God. Cheryl! It’s the Golden Arches! –Bus Entering Port Authority
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
PCP, mostly
Chick: Oh my God, you guys, I bought drugs from him! –Ave A
Check Your Attitude While You’re At It
Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
The One Sentence Guide to Williamsburg
Indie girl: Defeatism is my Friendster. –2nd Avenue Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
“No; I’m more well hung than he is.”
College Professor: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Female Student: I have one sister and a twin brother.
College Professor: Are you identical?
–American Musical & Dramatic Academy, UWS
Why Not a Soup/Sammich Combo?
Urban chick: They eat some fucked up shit. I could be starving but if I’m at her house I won’t eat. I’ll make me a sammich. Bean curd soup! I never heard of no shit like that. Bean curd soup. –D train
“I wasn’t lying, I swear!”
Girl #1: Who’s Rob?
Girl #2: The one with the girlfriend…You know! The one who was right front and center when my pants caught on fire.
–Elevator, 50th & Broadway
Supernausea, super-hangover, super-bruises…
Tall girl: I have a Drunken Master style of riding the subway.
Short girl: But you’re sober!
Tall girl: Yeah, unfortunately. Drinking gives me superpowers.
–F Train
…and all my personal calls are annoying
Who: Puerto Rican teenage girl
Where: East Village
What: “I can set whatever rings I want on this phone for whoever calls me. So all my business calls are Scooby-doo.”
No Context, No Sense
Girl #1: …you think it would have been OK, all I had was a pastrami sandwich.
Girl #2: Well, that’ll certainly keep him out of your butt for a while…
–2nd St. & Ave. A