Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

She’s Bulimic, Not Sarcastic

Chick on cell: Fuck! I thought I told you not to touch that, asshole!
Chick #2: Watch your mouth, please. Not all of us want to hear that.
Chick on cell: Hey, I’ve got a ham hock and a cheesecake in my purse. I’ll give it to you if you mind your own business. Fair enough? –F train

Yeah, It’s Weird That Old People Know How to Use a Phone

Brooklyn girl #1: So I was in this restaurant and some guy asks the owner who I am and gets my phone number and calls me. That’s weird.
Brooklyn girl #2: That’s not weird, that’s cute.
Brooklyn girl #1: Yeah, but he was like 30.
Brooklyn girl #2: Ew, that’s weird. –D train Overheard by: Jen Old man: Why do I have to download ringtones when it never rings anyway? –Worldwide Plaza, 49th & 8th Overheard by: mark manne

Wednesday One-Liners Love the Rear Naked Choke

Girl to another: And she went to get into her car. I was like "you'd better get out of here or I'm gonna fuck you up." And she was all slamming the door and stopping over to me. And I was all in her face and bitch-slapped her. Well, that last part might have been a dream. But then she got into her car and left.

–NY Central Library

Overheard by: amused

Woman on cell: Hi, Annie! How are you? (pause) I'm going to get my ass kicked by a very big black man.

–Park Slope

Suit on cell: If you don't stop hanging up on me, I will kick you in the throat.

–Times Square

Guy on cell, very loudly: Yeah, but, so nobody knows about it except me and the other guys in the fight club.

–21st St & Broadway

Overheard by: Alex

20-something girl: And then she chloroformed me. (pause) I said that too loud.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Russ