Archive for the ‘Glad the Condom Broke’ Category

Kids Say the Darndest Wednesday One-Liners

Seven-year-old white boy in huge afro wig, screaming: Peace out, smokers! Peace out, jazz singers! Now, who wants my autograph?

–Playground, Houston St, Soho

Little boy with broken arm: I just won eight gold medals!

–Pier 46, Hudson River Park

Overheard by: skeptical james

Three-year-old boy: The night… why does it hurt?

–Flushing Playground

Six-year-old girl waiting for parents to pay the check, chanting: Hun-ger! Hun-ger! Hun-ger!

–Chinese Restaurant, Park Slope

Overheard by: Kendra

Little boy walking towards LIRR at rush-hour: How are we going to get through all of this?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: i feel the same way

Four-year-old boy: I gotta feelin… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good night… that tonight's gonna be a good good night!

–Hard Rock Cafe, Times Square

Overheard by: wooohoooo

Little girl, in Cro-Magnon section of museum: Mommy, you must have known these people. They look like you!

–American Museum of Natural History

Looks Like Disney's Already Gotten Its Claws Into Him

Dad to four-year-old son: Hey, don't touch that! Don't pick up things off the ground here. I just saw a mouse.
Four-year-old son: You saw a mouse! You are so lucky! I always wanted to see one of those!
Dad, sighing: You don't want to see them, they are dirty.
Son: You're so lucky. Wow! A mouse.

–8th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Must not be from the village

That's What You Said When I Asked Who Your Art Teacher Was!

Three-year-old boy: Mommy, I want a little brother, let's get one.
Mom: You can't just go to the store to get a baby.
Seven-year-old girl: I know where babies come from.
Mom: Oh, man!
Three-year-old boy: From where?
Seven-year-old girl: God. God made everything, people and animals.
Three-year-old boy: Who's god?
Seven-year-old girl: I don't know, some dead guy who lives in heaven.

–Riverbank State Park

Overheard by: Darin

Wednesday One-Liners Have the Reich Stuff

Fat guy in telephone booth: Yeah, well, Hitler invented the Volkswagen bus.

–7th Ave & Waverly

Overheard by: Mark Martin

Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half-conscious ass around a concentration camp!

–Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar

Overheard by: Nella

Guy: Jury duty is like the Holocaust. They put you in line and march you into a strange room.

–Off The Wagon Restaurant

Overheard by: thankfully not jewish

Teen boy: Yeah, after I watched that movie I couldn't talk to German people at all. For like a month afterwards, every time I saw a person who looked German I was like, "you evil, evil Nazi!"

–Bull Statue, Bowling Green

Little boy to friends: And next year, we're going to assassinate Hitler!

–66th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Liz