Archive for the ‘Glad the Condom Broke’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: Now with Coloring Placemat Menus

Small child in large line of kids to woman carrying first-aid kit: Hey, Miss Cynthia, I can’t wait to disappear! –Lawton St, & Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn Boy pointing at guy dressed as Statue of Liberty: We waited this whole time just to see that?! –Line for Statue of Liberty, Battery Park Little girl: Daddy! I’m hard! –Blockbuster Overheard by: Abram Small boy: Mommy, you sit over there next to Grandma, and I’ll sit over here next to myself. –Brooklyn-bound F train Overheard by: post-modern self-identity is a funny thing Sobbing little boy in stroller to mother: Why can’t you just settle me dowwwn?! –48th St & Madison Overheard by: Micaela

Eat, Drink, Wednesday One-liners

British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese. –27th Street office Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave. –Washington Heights Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again. –82nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: JY Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here. –McDonald’s, 47th Street Overheard by: Christa Bramberger As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer! –Williamsburg Overheard by: tee sul Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York. –Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms? –Penn Station Overheard by: Cynthia