Small child in large line of kids to woman carrying first-aid kit: Hey, Miss Cynthia, I can’t wait to disappear!
–Lawton St, & Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn
Boy pointing at guy dressed as Statue of Liberty: We waited this whole time just to see that?!
–Line for Statue of Liberty, Battery Park
Little girl: Daddy! I’m hard!
–Blockbuster
Overheard by: Abram
Small boy: Mommy, you sit over there next to Grandma, and I’ll sit over here next to myself.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: post-modern self-identity is a funny thing
Sobbing little boy in stroller to mother: Why can’t you just settle me dowwwn?!
–48th St & Madison
Overheard by: Micaela
Archive for the ‘Glad the Condom Broke’ Category
The Gaydar is Strong with You, Young One
Little girl: Do you have a wife?
Hipster: … No…
Little girl: You don’t look like you do.
–DeKalb St & Hall St
Plus, the Cops’ll Arrest You. True Story
Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it’s just cruel. And three, you can’t hit ‘em in the face ’cause they’re used to it. All fallin’ down the stairs all the time…
–6th Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: connor
Why Do I Have Custody of You Again?
Father: How was school today?
Little girl: Didn’t have school today, it was Saturday.
Father: Oh. What about tomorrow?
Little girl: No, that’s Sunday.
Father: Oh.
Little girl: Are we taking a taxi?
Father: No.
Little girl: Good.
–Queens bound F train
Overheard by: djingo
We’re Trying to Get You to Develop an Immunity
Little girl: Ew, Daddy, it smells like Jersey over here.
Dad: I know, sweetie.
–30th St
Overheard by: Kate
Multi-Cultural: Urban Outfitters and J. Crew
Six-year-old girl: Wow! Look at those go-go boots. The East Village is so multi-cultural.
Her father: You think so? It’s mostly rich, white people now.
–East 7th St
Every Wednesday One-Liner Is Sacred
Girl: I mean, I never want to get married. Like… never. But I really want babies. So I guess I’m just going to have a bastard. –Marquet Cafe, 15 East 12th St Overheard by: Grace
Wednesday One-liners, Rated G
Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Mater Baiter
Eat, Drink, Wednesday One-liners
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese. –27th Street office Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave. –Washington Heights Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again. –82nd & Amsterdam Overheard by: JY Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here. –McDonald’s, 47th Street Overheard by: Christa Bramberger As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer! –Williamsburg Overheard by: tee sul Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York. –Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms? –Penn Station Overheard by: Cynthia