Professor to unresponsive class: So, how do you know when a scene is over? Yeah, you just know, like porn.
–Sarah Lawrence College
Professor: Don’t mess with Socratic ninjas.
Professor to silent class: Come on, what do you think? Someone say something. It’s kind of like sex. Sometimes you don’t want to do it, but you have to do what you have to do.
Professor: I was whipped by a crazed dwarf in a cave for a month! Then I married him!
Overheard by: Ali
Professor turning off powerpoint: And now we kick it old school.
Overheard by: Jesse
SVA professor: Woo, I’m so jazzed today — it’s like I’m on crystal meth! [Students laugh.] No, seriously, I never did crystal meth! Speed, sure. Quaaludes, of course, but not crystal meth. Never. Nope. Oxycodone, maybe.
Overheard by: SUSAN
Professor: The Native Americans even have biological differences… except for the Native Americans of Australia.
–History class, Hunter College
Overheard by: tanechka