Archive for the ‘Global Geography’ Category

Logs of Wednesday One-liners

Guy: You know, we really should do something with all that driftwood we brought back from Canada. –West Elm furniture, DUMBO Overheard by: Ashley The husband scoops dog shit in a clear plastic bag, swings it around and calls out to his wife: Hey, Marla! Ya hungry? Hot fudge, fresh from the oven! –Prince St. between Thompson & West Broadway

That Must Be Canadia

Man: Honey, what’s her zip code?
Woman: Oh…um…it’s 1000007. –Astoria Overheard by: Alizzon Girl #1: We’re going to Montreal for the weekend.
Girl #2: I love Montreal! It’s so easy to get to, and so exotic…it’s
like going to a different country. –68th & Lexington

And I Love You, Horns and All

Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you. –1 Train Overheard by: Cannelle

Wednesdays Don’t Kill People; One-Liners Kill People

Large black man on cell phone: They did the deal with the diamonds, then the other guy got greedy and shot up the place. –Union Ave Overheard by: Seth Callaway Teen, looking around: Where are we? Are we purchasing illegal arms? –Turkish Restaurant, Montague St. Overheard by: Mike N Blonde chick in pink coat, perkily: … There was no exit wound, and no bullet. –L train Overheard by: Ladle Girl talking to co-worker: I live near Wall Street and there are like army men down there with machine guns and it’s scary! How do I know they don’t have Tourette’s and won’t just start shooting their guns all over the place?! –41st & 3rd Older suit, calmly, to his two female coworkers: I’d like to put a gun to his head and say "Nickie do the right thing or I will blow your fucking head off."
[His companions nod in understanding.] –Starbucks Calm Jewish fraternity guy on cell: So, I’m being deported and drafted into the Israeli army… It’s okay, I’ll name my gun after you! –NYU Waverly Building