Archive for the ‘Global Geography’ Category

One Of the Few Countries the U.S. Never Tried to Invade

Dominican girl #1: Yo, when you go to the Dominican republic, everyone is mad nice to you because they think you are rich and can help them out. Everyone there thinks people in the US are all rich.
Dominican girl #2: Yeah, but they don't know we got poor people here, too.
Dominican girl #1: Word, they think the whole country's rich, like Ireland.

–Vanessa's Dumplings, 14th St

Was?”

Four-year-old: I was going to Queens.
Employee: Oh, Queens?
Four-year-old: Yeah, it wasn't part of the United States, it was part of Long Island.

–McNally Jackson Bookstore

Overheard by: Amyjo

The Alien Autopsy Of Wednesday One-Liners

Seven-year old boy to bookseller: Do you have any books on crop circles in this library?

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Amused bookseller a few feet away

Man to another: Don't you know? All those tunnels in Afghanistan run into the pyramids in Gaza! If I was President there would be one less pyramid.

–Soup Kitchen, Midtown

Overheard by: John Gordon

Gentleman on train: You know why they invented daylight savings, don't you? It's because of Halloween, a lot of congressmen wanted kids to have an extra hour to go trick or treating. That's why we have daylight savings.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Annie

Elderly professor: Fewer chairs, less chalk every week. It's a conspiracy!

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

“It's a Small Wednesday One-Liner After All”

College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Noemi

Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.

–5 Train

20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: M

Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.

–Lower East Side