Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead. –Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.
–Regal Cinema, Union Square
Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
Mother: I want you to always be safe whenever you're in the woods, a lake, or the mountains.
Boy: But I'm always in control!
Mother: No one's always in control.
Boy: What about Michael Phelps?
Mother: No. The only one always in control is…?
Boy, bored: God.
Overheard by: amused family member
Teacher: So, “third person omniscient” means the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the story. It's almost like God is telling the story.
Student: Or Chuck Norris.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl on iPhone: It's not like he's gone and, y'know, rescuing cheetahs…
Lone hobo: Thanks, god… for goats, people and buses.
Woman on phone: Hi, honey. Did you find the frogs with the red eyes? (pause) Oh, do you think your mom will like the quail? (pause) It's 30% off, right?
Subway drummer: This next one is called "moose call." it goes, "yo, moose!" (pause) Hey, I didn't write it, I just made it popular.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Overheard by: Media addict
French man: It's like doing a horse. Kick him in the ass and he will kick you right back.
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Three-year-old girl: Daddy, I like flying.
Father: Why is that, honey?
Three-year-old girl: I like looking at the clouds. They are god's house.
Overheard by: Heather
Bus driver: This bus is at capacity, so do me a favor: Move I-N, not O-U-T, and that's what she said.
Overheard by: The Average Commuter
Bus driver: Next stop is Malcolm X… No, it's not. What's his cousin's name? Oh yeah. Next stop is Frederick Douglas Boulevard.
Overheard by: polaco
Bus driver: When exiting the bus please take all of your trash with you. If you leave it on the bus you are a horrible person.
–34th St Bus
Bus driver, singing at every stop: Fifty niiiinnnth and Central Park Souuuuuthhhh. Ladies and gentlemeeeeennnn, have a wonderful daaaaayyyyyy!
Female bus driver: Everyone, squeeze in, I won't move this bus until ya'll are behind the line. Move back! Move! Squeeze! Remember to say "excuse me"! Move back! I will pull this bus over, ladies and gentlemen, move behind the line! (everyone shuffles a few inches back) It's a miracle! Thank you, Lord!
Overheard by: Erica S
Guy on cell: Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Can you hear me? Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
Overheard by: Is God trying to tell you something?
Intense man, grasping woman's shoulders: God wanted me to, and I was ready to.
–Near Riverside Church, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: I wish I knew more
Guy, in awed tones, hearing "Le nozze di Figaro" through open window: It's like the voice of God…
Overheard by: ground floor music lover
Crazy man: There is only one God. There is only one real deal. I can't afford sex anymore.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: That took a turn
Loud evangelist, shouting in packed subway car: And so I discovered that Jesus Christ is the only messiah! I found the Lord! I found the truth and the light!
Trapped passenger #1: Could you turn it down a little?
Loud evangelist, shouting in packed subway car: I was a sinner! I spent thirty-five years running from the word of the Lord!
Trapped passenger #2: At least you could run…
Overheard by: peeper
Girl using photo printer: Mine's all messed up. Why is it messed up? When you did it, it printed out fine. Why isn't mine like yours?
Photo lab guy: I don't know. Maybe god hates you.