Archive for the ‘Google’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay! –NYU Hayden Staircase Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it. –Hunter College Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there! –The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St Overheard by: Cassie 20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night. –Chipotle, 51st & 8th Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really. –Near Holland Tunnel Overheard by: Claire H. Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status! –6th & Ave A Overheard by: Kremilyse 30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob? –Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Wednesday One-Liners Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Accounts

Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now. –W Houston Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point. 40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am. –81st & Madison Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card. –Stanton & Christie Overheard by: Ross Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi! –Dice Thai, Prospect Park Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid

And Now You Expect Me to Walk??

Girlfriend, exiting cafe: I told you you should have googled this place before we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I'm sorry. Let's just go into the city! Bars are open until five there!
Girlfriend: You couldn't entertain me in Brooklyn for half an hour. What are you going to do with me in the city until five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets! –Bedford Ave & 6th St

Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends

Yuppie: I don’t google enough. –F Train, 7th Ave Overheard by: imaginexrach Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life! –NYU Bus Overheard by: Asian Kid Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom! –Office on 42nd & Madison Overheard by: herspace Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches. –8th St & Broadway Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle

Psh, Even Queens Has Moved On

Lawyer to Latina secretary: Yes, I meant do it now! What did you think I meant, tomorrow? Don't make me go all Hiram Monserrate on you!
Latina secretary: Okay, I'll do it now.
Lawyer: You don't even know who Hiram Monserrate is, do you?
Latina secretary: No, who is he?
Lawyer: I don't have the time. Google him when you get a chance. On your own time. –Court St Overheard by: Big Larry