Girl #1: Where is he from, anyway?
Girl #2: I dunno, he's from Fort Dallas or something.
Girl #1: He's from some fort town.
Girl #2: Well, there's Dallas-Fort Worth, but that's, like, a big city. (pause) He's from wherever Kelly Clarkson's from.
Girl #1: Oh, okay!
–LIRR
Overheard by: openmic
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
And It Doesn't Help That the Ones You Have Keep Disappearing on You
Hippie girl, about friend cheating: So now she won't answer anyone's calls. And her boyfriend said she hasn't come home in a week.
Friend, completely serious: Maybe he killed her for cheating on him and is calling everyone, acting worried.
Hippie girl: Are you serious right now?! She is probably staying with the guy she's been cheating with.
Friend, looking ashamed: Sorry, I've been watching way too much SVU.
Hippie girl: You need to make friends when you go back to Boston!
–Washington Square
You Think High School Ends When You Leave High School?
20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!
–1 Train
I'd Guess Lo-Fat, but I'm Not Sure.
Girl #1: Did you hear about Stacey?
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She got pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh really? What kind is it?
–NYU
Don't Lesbians Keep Nuts Away from Their Ears?
Sporty teen girl: So, I'm pretty sure Amy* is a lesbian. She never straightens her hair, and she always wears those coconut earrings…
Blonde friend: You wear coconut earrings.
Sporty teen girl: Yeah, but not every day!
–Central Park
AC/DC: Nuh-Uh!
White-haired lady #1: She's gay. Didn't you hear her say, “I can tell by the look on your face you're gay”?
Friends: What?
White-haired lady #1: You know, gay! AC/DC. She goes both ways. She's gay.
White-haired lady #2: No. (pause) She said “I can tell by the look on your face you're a virgin.”
–Broadway Show
Overheard by: drewbear
That's the Nicest Thing You've Ever Said to Me!
Latino thug #1: It was so awkward–he couldn't hit the high notes.
Latino thug #2: That kid wore the same blue tee for a whole year!
Latino thug #3: Your shirt looks like a Christmas wrapping.
–F Train
Overheard by: Katface
…With No Cup Holders
Flamboyant teenage boy: Did you see Keisha roll up to school today with that raggedy-ass stroller showing off her baby?
Teenage girl: Yeah, who she think she is? Them other girls had them babies in some decent rides.
Teenage boy: You never see the baby daddies rolling in, showing off their babies.
Teenage girl: Hahaha… Yeah, but next year, when I bring my baby, I ain't gonna have no ghetto stroller.
–D Train
After I Gave Him a Blowjob, I Had a Metallic Taste in My Mouth for Weeks
Girl with scarf: So that's when I just, you know, decided that I'd have to just give up.
Blonde girl: Well, you're only human.
Girl with scarf: I know, I know.
Blonde girl: We're all only human.
(pause)
Blonde girl: Except for Terry. He's a robot.
Girl with scarf: Ohmigod! I am so glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks that!
–N Train
…But I Think You're Making Much Aldo About Nothing.
Young NYU female student #1: Bitch thinks she's shopping at Neiman Marcus, but she just shopping at Aldo.
Young NYU female student #2: That is so, so true.
–12th St & University
Overheard by: adam