Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise. –PATH Train Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!" –4th & 10th Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine. –E 11th St Overheard by: j Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"! –Bedford & 6th St Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia. –Borders, Wall St Overheard by: step Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri! –Outside Barrymore Theatre Overheard by: Pasta…Salad
Trashy Jersey man: That guy is such a jerk to his wife.
Trashy Jersey woman: Yeah, one time I peed myself in his car just to make him mad. I told him, “I just peed in your car.” He was mad.
Trashy Jersey man: That was a good idea. Or you could have busted his face with a bottle. –2 Train
Latino thug #1: It was so awkward–he couldn't hit the high notes.
Latino thug #2: That kid wore the same blue tee for a whole year!
Latino thug #3: Your shirt looks like a Christmas wrapping. –F Train Overheard by: Katface
Brunette sister: Ally did turn into a slut in college!
Blonde sister: She's our sister!
Brunette sister: She's getting more than we did in college! Although I got more than you.
Blonde sister: Yeah, probably. I'm paying for the lattes. –Starbucks, Bryant Park
Saleswoman to customer on busy day: Some days you really should just stay at home. You’re cranky. –Macy’s, Herald Square Loud black lady on cell: Mothafuckah, I ain’t no one-night stand. If you think you can fuckin’ call me at 10:30 to 11:00 at night and fuckin’ pull me out of my home with my kids, then you must think I’m some other… [whispers] bitch. –Mail room, Financial District Woman on cell: Good, that way she won’t be able to beat on anyone else’s house guests! Let her sit at home and beat on her own house guests! –M14 bus Overheard by: Eyeteeth Conductor: Jessica! Jessica! Girl, you on this train. Jessica Elizabeth! I’m taking you home, girl. –6 train Overheard by: fridaholic
Girl #1: So I told her she should totally come to the beach on Saturday, and you know what she said? She said she can't… she has her “lady friend.” And I was like “hello, tampon.”
Girl #2: I'm so over those.
Girl #1: That's what she said too.
Girl #2: Word! –Bathroom, Central Park Playground Overheard by: Heather
Girl #1: We went to her house upstate.
Girl #2: How was it? Is it nice?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really nice.
Girl #2: Oh… Okay. So it's not like Sex and the City no air-conditioning? It's like hey, I have a tennis court?
Girl #1: Yeah, definitely… and a pool. –Greene & Waverly
Girl #1: So, I heard your sister slept with another guy last night…
Girl #2: Yeah, I know. I love her, because she’s, like, my sister and all. But seriously, she’s going to get a fucking disease.
Girl #1: It’s really easy to. I mean, I only sleep with girls, and remember when I got one? –Line for Ani D. concert, Central Park Overheard by: tiffany.
Guy: I don’t know — I think she intellectualizes everything, and she uses big vocabulary words, but that doesn’t make her smart, you know?
Girl: Yeah, totally. –W 4th & Morton Overheard by: Duncan
Man introducing lady friend to pal: This is Lucille, my ex-wife… She’s my second cousin… She was also my second wife. –136th St, Harlem Middle-aged woman: I have such a bad memory! I know, I know. I know. There are times I go to my daughter, ‘How do I spell my name?’ –D train Overheard by: Jess McGins Loud woman on cell: She’s evil! Don’t you know she killed mama? That’s the family secret! –Q83 bus Overheard by: It’s Jady, BiTChesss!! Guy talking on cell: I completely understand that she was pissed off, but I mean, come on! She did hit her sister in the head with an iron! –11th Ave Lady: So, I bought my niece a gift. I don’t know why… She’s such an ungrateful little bitch. –Grand Central Man on cell: … So she said, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it… You have a four-year-old son.’ –26th & Park Overheard by: Nick