Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners for Celebretards

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise. –PATH Train Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!" –4th & 10th Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine. –E 11th St Overheard by: j Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"! –Bedford & 6th St Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia. –Borders, Wall St Overheard by: step Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri! –Outside Barrymore Theatre Overheard by: Pasta…Salad

Home Is Where You Hang Your Wednesday One-Liners

Saleswoman to customer on busy day: Some days you really should just stay at home. You’re cranky. –Macy’s, Herald Square Loud black lady on cell: Mothafuckah, I ain’t no one-night stand. If you think you can fuckin’ call me at 10:30 to 11:00 at night and fuckin’ pull me out of my home with my kids, then you must think I’m some other… [whispers] bitch. –Mail room, Financial District Woman on cell: Good, that way she won’t be able to beat on anyone else’s house guests! Let her sit at home and beat on her own house guests! –M14 bus Overheard by: Eyeteeth Conductor: Jessica! Jessica! Girl, you on this train. Jessica Elizabeth! I’m taking you home, girl. –6 train Overheard by: fridaholic

Homosexuality Isn’t Really Considered a Disease Anymore, Heather

Girl #1: So, I heard your sister slept with another guy last night…
Girl #2: Yeah, I know. I love her, because she’s, like, my sister and all. But seriously, she’s going to get a fucking disease.
Girl #1: It’s really easy to. I mean, I only sleep with girls, and remember when I got one? –Line for Ani D. concert, Central Park Overheard by: tiffany.

People Move to New York to Escape Their Wednesday One-Liners

Man introducing lady friend to pal: This is Lucille, my ex-wife… She’s my second cousin… She was also my second wife. –136th St, Harlem Middle-aged woman: I have such a bad memory! I know, I know. I know. There are times I go to my daughter, ‘How do I spell my name?’ –D train Overheard by: Jess McGins Loud woman on cell: She’s evil! Don’t you know she killed mama? That’s the family secret! –Q83 bus Overheard by: It’s Jady, BiTChesss!! Guy talking on cell: I completely understand that she was pissed off, but I mean, come on! She did hit her sister in the head with an iron! –11th Ave Lady: So, I bought my niece a gift. I don’t know why… She’s such an ungrateful little bitch. –Grand Central Man on cell: … So she said, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it… You have a four-year-old son.’ –26th & Park Overheard by: Nick