Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

AC/DC: Nuh-Uh!

White-haired lady #1: She's gay. Didn't you hear her say, “I can tell by the look on your face you're gay”?
Friends: What?
White-haired lady #1: You know, gay! AC/DC. She goes both ways. She's gay.
White-haired lady #2: No. (pause) She said “I can tell by the look on your face you're a virgin.” –Broadway Show Overheard by: drewbear

…With No Cup Holders

Flamboyant teenage boy: Did you see Keisha roll up to school today with that raggedy-ass stroller showing off her baby?
Teenage girl: Yeah, who she think she is? Them other girls had them babies in some decent rides.
Teenage boy: You never see the baby daddies rolling in, showing off their babies.
Teenage girl: Hahaha… Yeah, but next year, when I bring my baby, I ain't gonna have no ghetto stroller. –D Train

Wednesday One-Liners Grow Hair on Their Palms

Preppy guy to preppy friends: So then she's throwing these nerf balls at me while I'm furiously beating off on her couch… –Chinatown Girl: Masturbation's not really my thing, but I need to be more self-sufficient. –N Train Angst 20-something on cell: Ya, I miss riding my bike, it made my ass look so good… Fuck! I just want to go home, smoke some weed, and masturbate. –Central Park Overheard by: kate Guy: I hope this bus gets caught in a traffic jam! (looks down out of window) You may see people jacking off in their cars. –MegaBus, Top Deck Overheard by: EuropanGal 20-something girl on cell: Yeah, he's a big dork. Ya know what else he uses? Calculators. But that's just to masturbate. –Macdougal & 4th Overheard by: Billy H. Young women on cell: Oh. My. God! You will never guess who got married! (pause) The masturbator! –Bryant Park

Wednesday One-Liners: Soon to Be Gentrified

Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous. –28th & Lexington Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas. –6 Train Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda. –Jackson Heights Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work. –Lenox & 118th St Overheard by: K