Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Hannah
Archive for the ‘Goths’ Category
And My Mom Already Hates You
Hipster turned emo #1: So, I was thinking that I should just dye my hair black, wear a lot of dark eyeliner, and talk about how much my mom hates me.
Hipster turned emo #2: I think that's a great idea, but you also need to stop representing yourself as a happy individual, and make sure that the black eyeliner has that smudgy look.
Goth fat kid with way too many piercings: Shut the fuck up already. You're wasting my oxygen.
–Union Square
“This One Time, at Wednesday One-Liner Camp…”
Angry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pianist.
–Outside Fairway, 72nd St
Goth chick on cell: We're inside. Yeah, she's playing "Creep" on a ukulele. No, I'm serious!
–Spiegelworld
Art student: I did some acid and they made me play with a guitar, but it felt like plastic and it sounded like cheese!
–Pratt Institute
Tall drummer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drumline goes on break, they're like, "let's play some more!" When you guys go on break, you're like, "let's explore each others' bodies!"
–Pathmark
Overheard by: Another band geek
30-something African American woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin' her ass like a violin!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: KTizzle
Cleverly Camouflaged by Sweet-Sounding Synthesizers
Goth girl: I'm not going to lie, I love the new Britney album.
Brunette friend: What? You like Britney?
Goth girl: Yeah. I have a dark side, you know.
–5th Ave & 13th St
He's Still in the E.R.
Goth girl #1: Wow! Then what?
Goth girl #2: It was kinda like taking a big handful of mayo and squishing it around.
–Matt Umanov Guitars, Bleecker St
Overheard by: wait, what?
Buying Me a MacBook Air Would Greatly Expedite That Process
Dad to sullen goth son: Are you okay?
Goth: I will be…someday.
–Midtown
I Guess It's More Like Doing the Macarena
Goth female store employee #1: It's not like I'm amputating a leg.
Goth female store employee #2: Not technically.
–Manhattan Store
Don't Judge Me. Bitch
Little girl with cotton candy to lonely goth girl sitting on a curb: Look! I have cotton candy! See? (shoves it in her face)
Goth girl: Oh…good?
Mother: Ha, ha! Like you care!
–St. Mark's Place
It Seems Such a Small Thing to Ask
Wannabe goth guy: If you're gonna kill me, please don't cut off my dick. Just kill me.
Wannabe goth girl: I'm kinda psycho. I'm kinda psycho.
Wannabe goth guy: Just don't cut off my dick.
–A Train
Overheard by: Whubagong
How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up? Discuss
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Observatory! Rainbow room!
(goth chick unbuttons her shirt)
Flyer guy: Rainbow room… Uh…
(goth chick reveals a Batman t-shirt)
Flyer guy, recovering: Discount admission! Observatory!
Goth chick (in menacing voice): I'm Batman.
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Batman! We got batman in Gotham! Observatory! Rainbow room! Batman! Discount admission!
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Rose Fox