Maintenance worker: I got no problem with him, but he shouldn’t be touching my nipple. –Women’s rest room, Grand Central Station
Archive for the ‘Grand Central’ Category
Has “Fruit” Been Reclaimed Yet?
Dad: So what did you learn in school today?
Son: Ummm…a tomato is a fruit.
Dad: What? A tomato is a fruit?
Son: Yeah, cause it has seeds.
Dad: You’re telling me a tomato is a fruit? Is a pumpkin a fruit?
Son: Yeah, they have seeds.
Dad: What about a cucumber, is that a fruit?
Son: No.
Dad: What about a squash? A zucchini? You know what I think? I think you’re the fruit!
Son: No, I don’t have seeds.
Dad: …I’m not going there.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Rehey
What's That About?
Passenger #1: What's that movie with Julia Roberts where she plays the runaway bride?
Passenger #2: My Best Friend's Wedding?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: EmLo
…And, Frankly, You're Lucky I'm Even Talking to You.
Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.
–Post Office, Grand Central
Overheard by: Adam Lazarus
My Facebook Page Has the Buttcam Video
Cute teen girl: Yeah, there was a slip 'n slide there.
Cute teen boy: Yeah, I scratched my ass on that slip 'n slide!
–Train to Grand Central
Overheard by: lindsay r
Your Editors Will Be Drinking Gin and Tonics 'til This Is Settled
Teen girl to friend: My mosquito bites hurt so much!
Friend: Mine too! I think I have malaria!
Teen girl: You don't have malaria.
–Grand Central
What's Vin Diesel's Excuse?
Dad: It stars Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: More like Win Diesel!
Dad: Winn Dixie?
Teen daughter: Because of Vin Dixie?
Dad: Because of Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: I think you broke my brain, dad.
–Grand Central
So It Does Promote Flexible Thinking
Teenage boy: I still don't get it, what's green and goes in the tank?
Teenage girl: The turtle.
Teenage boy: The turtle's turquoise…
Teenage girl: Its head is green!
Teenage boy: You do realize we're arguing over a Blue's Clues episode.
–Grand Central Station
Punish That Liver Like It Killed a Cop
Bartender: Have any plans for the holiday weekend?
Middle aged guy: I plan to drink.
Bartender: Good plan.
–Bar, Grand Central
Just a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31