Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga. –Grand Central Overheard by: Steven Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline! –Virgil's, W 44th St Overheard by: Check, please! Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself." –6 Train Overheard by: i mean disrespect 20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad… –35th St & Lexington
Hipster guy: Suck my balls.
Preppy girl: But…you have scabies. –Grand Central
Girl #1: Ohmigod. I never ever like come this far uptown.
Girl #2: Oh, I know! Never!
Girl #1: I never go above 14th street. Ever!
Girl #2: Oh, me neither. Ever! Well, maybe above 30th street.
Girl #1: Yeah, just for, like, Bungalow and stuff. –Grand Central Guy #1: The last two times I was at Crobar someone got raped in the bathroom. Isn’t that crazy? Two times. The last two times I was there.
Guy #2: Really? I don’t think I wanna go there.
Guy #1: No, it’s okay. Besides, they were girls. And the bar is nice. –6 train Overheard by: zztop
Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon. –Barnard College Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia! –Columbia University Overheard by: John David Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin! –Nassau & Fulton Overheard by: Tigertail First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity. –Grand Central Overheard by: bunbury Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right? –70th & Broadway
Old woman: Everyday I wake up is a good day.
Old man: Everyday I get a boner is a good day. –Grand Central
Cali boy #1: Duuude, it’s like Grand fuckin’ Central in here, man.
Cali boy #2: Yeah, it’s hella crazy. Let’s get outta here. –Grand Central Overheard by: Rebecca
Pregnant woman: Are you gay? Guy looks over at woman’s stomach and looks up. Guy: You look like a whore. –Grand Central Overheard by: Jakob Wells
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away again! –Bedford & 11th, Williamsburg Overheard by: Kaitlen Woman, with her mouth about an inch from a guy, about to kiss him: I can't, I already had sex with three guys today. –Grand Central Overheard by: Derek Girl to friend: I'm really worried about her. I think she has a serious case of slutism. –66th & Columbus Preppy girl on cell: Yeah, so apparently "Happy hour Tuesday" equals "Walk of shame Wednesday." I just wish I could've been working at my job for more than a week before I walked in reeking of shame and spermicide. (pause) Actually, I wish the spermicide thing was true. Then I wouldn't have to drop $50 bucks today on plan B. –Wall St Teenage boy on cell: She's still sleeping with my brother. I mean, my brother is sleeping with like ten other girls…but she's in his regular rotation. –Starbucks, Montague Street NYU student on cell: But logic doesn't call you back. Logic sleeps with you and leaves in the morning. –Kimmel Center
White teen: I don’t think I could date an ugly girl.
Preppy black teen: Yeah…
White teen: I think I’ll just marry a hot one for the sex and cheat on her emotionally with someone who is actually smart. –Grand Central
Hoochie #1: I am such a make-out slut!
Hoochie #2: I used to be a make-out slut, too, but then I went pro. –Grand Central shuttle to Times Square Overheard by: Danielle