Archive for the ‘Grand Central’ Category

That’s the Biggest Wednesday One-Liner I’ve Ever Seen on a Man

Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad. –Grand Central Station Overheard by: EthanK Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]
Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough. –66th & Broadway College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough. –12th St & Broadway Overheard by: Strand Customer Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches? –CUNY Queensborough Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches! –Union Square

Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: An Embarrassed Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom. –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: V Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents! –Pathmark, Massapequa Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead? Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults. –Columbia University Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not. –Columbia University Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun." –Grand Central Overheard by: galgal

He Needs to Call Apex Tech (They Can’t Call Him)

Construction guy #1: Next, the idiot tells me she ain’t livin’ there so it don’t matter if I do the job the right way or the wrong way. She just wants it done fast and cheap.
Construction guy #2: So then what’d ya say?
Construction guy #1: I told her, “Lady, I ain’t got time to do things wrong. Enough things go wrong just trying to do things right!” –Grand Central Overheard by: Mike Jenkins

“That'sa Spicy Wednesday One-Liner!”

Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians. –Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian? –Grand Central Overheard by: Kayla Monetta Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian." –E 10th & 3rd Ave Overheard by: molina1230 Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down. –Brooklyn Botanic Garden College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown. –Brooklyn College Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep! –8th St & Broadway Overheard by: Not hungry either

Wednesday One-Liners Want to Be a Part Of It

Suit: That's why I can't help but love New York. New York is like the sick uncle that touches you when no ones around. –Grand Central Terminal Girl, after passing a tourist bumping into her: In New York we say "excuse me!" –Macy's, Herald Square Overheard by: The City Planner Guy to friend: Are we in the inner city or just the city? –1st Ave & 6th St Dude walking out of Penn station: You know what's great about going out in New York City? You can get completely bombed and it's no big deal, because you'll probably never see those people again, you know? –Penn Station Overheard by: BPV Aussie: The key to this city is to use words like "shitter." –96th & Columbus Ave